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American Idol: Straightening Up Lambert

So why did he have to go and almost move me with his downcast take on "Tracks of My Tears?" What made him decide to wear a shiny vintage-y suit and slick back his hair into something that looked like what might be on top of a guy's head? What made him decide not to go huge like the song has traditionally dictated? Why did he keep it small, sad and broken-sounding? Why did he make it feel like it wasn't suddenly a musty 45-year-old pop record? What if he's got everyone under some kind of spell now? WHAT IF HE REALLY IS A VAMPIRE?

I won't give in to you, Adam Lambert. Five bucks says next week you're back to your old tricks. And I hope you are. Anything to keep that fuckwit Randy from praising you for "straightening it up." Seriously, Mr. Jackson?

And then the roughneck got sent home. It should have been Scott MacIntyre. It should have been Megan. But he's got the sympathy vote and she's a stone fox. So they're sticking around. Whatever. I may miss the roughneck's adorable chunky presence but not his singing. And besides, he'll be back on the finale and on the summer Idol tour. They all will. Nothing ever really dies. At least not until that debut CD hits shelves.


Previously > Five reasons America IS ready for Adam Lambert

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Noah Michelson