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Out100 Where Are They Now: Brent Calderwood

The writer and activist discusses the present state of poetry, the need for naughtiness, and unicorns.

Brent Calderwood has been on our radar for quite some time. In 1996, at the age of 19, he was included in the Out100 for his activism and LGBT-youth-oriented journalism. In the years since, his writing has appeared in numerous journals and publications, he's been awarded writing grants and fellowships, and he currently serves as Literary Editor for A&U Magazine. He also released his first book of poetry earlier this summer, to an overwhelmingly positive critical response.

The God of Longing, published by Sibling Rivalry Press, weaves themes of heartache and loss, eroticism and satire into an honest and accessible collection. Classical allusions and pop cultural references, though tempered by Calderwood's plain-spoken language, add a depth to his poems that lingers with the reader. D. A. Powell and Mark Doty have offered their praise to The God of Longing as the herald of a new literary force within the canon.

Currently taking a break from his national book tour with fellow Sibling Rivalry Press writers Stephen S. Mills and Matthew Hittinger, we caught up with Calderwood to ask our 10 most burning questions. From eroticism to education, he offered a frank assessment of the current poetic landscape, and explained what needs to be done to make poetry less scary.

Out: How would you describe yourself professionally, in a sentence or so?

Brent Calderwood: I'm a writer and editor. I've been a journalist/essayist since I was 18, and then I do editing of all kinds -- I do educational editing and I work with private clients on their books. So professionally, that's me.

You wouldn't describe yourself as a poet, then?

Oh, good point. Definitely. It's funny because when someone asks you to describe yourself in terms of a career, of course poetry doesn't come to mind immediately because it's not lucrative. Even for someone like Billy Collins, who's one of the best-selling poets in the country, he'll say "I'm a poet" and then people will respond, "Yeah but what do you do?" Or they'll say, "Ohhh my four-year-old daughter writes poetry." So you're right, I should definitely include poet as part of my career identity.

This is your first collection of poetry. Can you explain the roots of the title, The God of Longing?

I chose the title The God of Longing because, to me, longing has many senses. Not only the obvious ones of heartache and yearning, but also sexual desire and eroticism, and it can also mean nostalgia. It just encompasses the topics covered in the book.

It came out of a line in one of my poems -- and it's also a reference to various gods. It's sort of an acknowledgement that I do bring out classical allusions in my work even though I also try to incorporate pop culture and some naughty stuff as well.

"Catalogue" is the poem that the eponymous line comes from. In that poem especially, you switch between classical allusions and popular cultural references -- why did you choose to use both so regularly?

Yes, "Catalogue" is written in six sections, and it does go back and forth. One will talk about something classical like Sappho, and then the next will be about Psycho and Hitchcock, and then the next about a personal relationship. The pop culture stuff... I love any allusion or symbol or reference that is resonant for people. I think that prior to the mid-20th century, most of that was classical or biblical and people assumed that poetry had to include some of those references. But post-1950, I think people have been playing a lot more with bringing in contemporary references. Frank O'Hara had it in a lot of his work, and he just talked very matter of factly about the people in his life. So to me, anything is fair game including Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Margaret Cho or Ellen DeGeneres -- whatever will resonate with readers.

Why did you decide to put together this collection and publish at this time?

Like any writer, I've of course always wanted to have a book. I started writing poetry when I was a kid. But it's interesting, you have child prodigies for art or music but not for writing -- you really have to grow into your maturity to be a fully-formed writer. Writing through my twenties and now up to my mid-to-late thirties, I've begun to make work that feels more mature and crafted. I can take those raw feelings from childhood or from adult romances and tighten them into something that has a sort of wry wisdom. And I finally had enough work published in individual journals and anthologies fill a book. I had the material, and I felt like I had been working on creating a sort of narrative arc that lent itself well to being printed as a collection.

You've said that being a poet isn't the most lucrative of careers, and that the terrain has changed, especially over the 20th century. What do you think the current state of poetry is? What place does it have right now?

I think that poetry always has been and always will be essential to human experience and to literature. But the state of it is that people now think of poetry as something that is elite or old fashioned, whereas, prior to the 20th century, most English literature was poetry. It's only post 20th century, or post 19th century, that people think of poetry as specialised in western culture. So I think the state of it is that it needs to be resuscitated and made populist, and that's another reason why I include pop culture reference -- I try to make it really relevant.

I work in education, and there's a huge problem with the way poetry is taught. I think that teachers purposefully use poems that, first of all, are public domain, which is a problem because they're usually out of date and not necessarily relevant to kids. And then teachers also use poems that they think are puzzles or riddles, and then kids get freaked out and grow into people who, when I tell them I'm a poet, change the subject! Because they were traumatized by poetry as a kid. But to me, good poetry is like any good art -- it's good. You should be able to get it when you first see it or hear it or read it, and then because you like it, you return to it and it acquires a deeper meaning. I think that more poetry can be written in such a way, and then it won't be so scary.

So far, your book tour has stopped in New York City and Boston. What have the audiences been like?

It's been a great mix of age and culture, ethnicity, sexuality, gender. Overall, of course, it's going to attract readers who like work that deals with topics relating to gay male identity. But it's actually brought in other people as well, which I'm really glad about. It's been ... often it's been poetry readers and a lot of poetry writers. There's a critique of contemporary poetry that there are more writers than readers, so a lot of people who show up for poetry readings do also write. What's great about that is that there's a built in audience of people who love and appreciate it.

I think older gay men -- older than me, 50 and older -- respond to my poetry because it appeals to traditional forms and talks about childhood challenges with sexuality that are, thankfully, changing in our culture. I think people who are older than 35 will relate to it more on that level, but then it also speaks to a kind of anxiety and nostalgia about childhood and sexuality that everyone can relate to ... so in that way it's really got a diverse group of readers.

You mentioned earlier that you like to include naughtiness in your poetry. How do you approach that? What's the proper balance?

Actually, the more naughtiness or eroticism that I can bring to my work, the better. I think that my default as a writer, whether of poetry or of essays, is to be the pensive poet, and to look at things like heartache and difficult memories. But to balance that out I try to read work that is playful, sexy and fun. So, to me, the balance would be great if I could do 100% of that, and with my next book I'm going to work harder to be more playful. I think more work should be naughty or -- you asked the state of poetry today. I think bringing in more pop culture and more sexuality and more things that shock, but in a way that is for art's sake and not for shock's sake, is a good thing.

Do you have a spirit animal?

[Laughs] Oh I'm embarrassed to tell you! I actually have three and they're all cliche. The first would be a unicorn, and there's actually a sonnet about a unicorn in the book -- talk about risky, it's totally cliche. For all the obvious reasons: I felt like a unicorn growing up, I didn't fit in, and then of course there's the phallic dimension. And I love that they're trendy again now -- they've become this full-on symbol of young male sexuality, which I love. The other two are, a butterfly, again for obvious reasons, and then a lion would be the third. I'm a Leo, and lions are so majestic and strong, but then also kind of silent. I feel those are all different parts of myself.

Last question. For people who enjoy your book of poems, are there a few other contemporary writers you would suggest?

First of all, I have to give a shout-out to my touring mates, Stephen S. Mills and Matthew Hittinger. Stephen won the Lambda award for gay male poetry a few years ago, and his new book looks at gay marriage from an edgy, challenging perspective. His work is daring and straightforward in a way I envy. Matthew's work is heartful in way I also aspire to, and his formal poems, especially his villanelles, are gorgeous. Marcelo Hernandez Castillo is a poet to watch out for. He writes about issues of class, race, immigration, and citizenship with craft and wisdom. Joanna Hoffman made her name as a slam poet and writes about politics and family in way that's perfect for performance but is also really precise and moving on the page. Ocean Vuong -- his writing is both delicate and heart-wrenching. He uses form really beautifully, and his poem "Aubade with Burning City" makes me cry every time.

Calderwood, Mills and Hittinger will make stops in San Francisco and Los Angeles as part of their tour with Sibling Rivalry Press from January 28 to February 6. Calderwood will also be teaching a Poetry Lab in Long Beach on February 5. Details can be found on his website.

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Interviews

The unstoppable Gigi Gorgeous on motherhood, red carpets & joining OF

Gigi Gorgeous opens up in an interview with Out about the new eras she’s entering in 2024.

Model, TV host, content creator, social media influencer, and trans trailblazer Gigi Gorgeous has always been a high-profile LGBTQ+ celebrity who creates opportunities for herself. Gorgeous still has that same energy even as of 2024, taking her life and career to the next level and seizing opportunities as they come along.

During an interview with Out, Gorgeous describes her decision to join OnlyFans, shares details about her red-carpet hosting gigs at the 2024 Grammy Awards and People’s Choice Awards, reflects on The T Guide book cowritten with Gottmik (a.k.a. Kade Gottlieb) a year after its release, and walks us through the lifestyle changes she had to make during her baby journey with husband Nats Getty.

Scroll through to read Out’s interview with Gigi Gorgeous — and make sure to check out her new page on OnlyFans.

Out: We've been seeing you everywhere this award season, from the Grammys to the People's Choice Awards! How's 2024 going so far?

Gigi Gorgeous: Oh my god, so fun! I feel like I'm entering my host era. I joined GLAAD for the first time ever at the Grammys. I was asked to co-host with Anthony Ramos. So many stars! It's exactly what you think it would be… just so iconic. The 2024 Grammys red carpet was [over] four hours [long]. It was also raining down, like pouring, so all the celebs were coming in under the tent, fresh out of the rain… but with their glam and everything still looking amazing. It was a very, very amazing experience. I can't wait to post other things.

I did hear that it was a rainy day in Los Angeles, which means that it was absolute chaos!

Oh, yes. It was pouring!

You've recently launched an OnlyFans account, and it's my understanding that you were inspired by friends and other creators to join. Who were some of those people that inspired you to join the platform?

I actually just did the Trisha Paytas podcast, Just Trish, and I told her how she was one of the people who… subconsciously, I guess… inspired me to do it. I think she joined a couple of years ago, and I just thought it was so cool and liberating to show your body. To make money off of how hot you are. I've entered a fitness era where I've never felt better about my body and my self-confidence and just all of that. So I was like, 'Why not?' So when OnlyFans approached me, I was like, 'Let's do this damn thing.'

But hold up, Gigi. You've had a non-fitness era? You've always looked stunning and fit!

So, from 8 to 16 years old, I was a diver and I was on my way to the Olympics. I was very fit back then. But from then on, I never really worked out or did anything. I guess my metabolism just carried on, which was very nice. But recently, like a year and a half or so, I've been working out every single day. I've never felt better.

I had to make a lot of lifestyle changes for my fertility journey with me and my husband. And then I just thought, 'What better time than right now to do OnlyFans?' Like, I want to show my body. I work hard for it, and it's empowering.

What can fans expect from the content that you're sharing on OnlyFans?

All the content on my OnlyFans is exclusive, so you're not going to see anything anywhere else. Obviously, there's some sexy stuff, there's some behind-the-scenes stuff. It's all very fun. And honestly, I'm getting to know the platform. I've only been on for a couple of months now, but it's been really fun.

I mean, I've been on YouTube for over a decade. I've been on Instagram and Facebook and X, and all that stuff, but OnlyFans is a new one. I was apprehensive, but once I got the vibes of it all, it's completely different than any other platform. I'm really enjoying it and having fun. I post on OnlyFans three times a week, and it's been exciting.

Especially in the last few years, we've seen a shift among social media platforms that are putting even more restrictions on content from LGBTQ+ people. Sometimes we're not even saying anything, but just sharing about our existence will spark an entire political debate. It's good to hear that a platform is allowing you to post more uncensored stuff.

The stuff that I post is definitely more risqué and sexy. Like I said, I've been working on my body, so I want to show it off. But I think the stigma of [having an] OnlyFans has already dropped. I think a lot of people thought that it was sex worker-driven, like just nudity and explicit, XXX, 18+ stuff all the time. But a lot of the pages that I'm being recommended have cooking tips, or fitness posts, or self-help content. One of my good friends, Whitney Cummings, did one of her comedy specials on there. So I felt like it was the perfect time for me to join.

For us in the LGBTQ+ community, we have to keep creating spaces and opportunities for ourselves. I think you are a master of doing that. You're always creating new paths and creative endeavors for yourself. The past few years have been even harder for our community, particularly for trans people. What would you say to trans people who are still finding themselves in this complicated world?

Oh, I would just tell them to take it easy on themselves. I know when I was first starting out transitioning… even, honestly, up until now… some days I'm very, very insecure. Very down on myself, too hard on myself. I want to let other people know that they are enough. Take it easy on yourself. It's not that deep. You are enough.

With social media, we keep comparing ourselves. There's a lot of comparing going on because you're just seeing the highlights of everyone's lives. I think it's really important to reel it back and be like, 'Everyone's posting their best stuff, but you are one of one. There's no one like you. Your uniqueness makes you very special in your own way.'

That's also what I kind of wanted to share with my OnlyFans launch. Like, I'm just sharing my body. I'm not trying to have anybody compare themselves to me or anything like that. I literally just want to share what I have and hope that I inspire other people to live free and within their true authentic selves and within their own bodies. That's what I've always been about. Just trying to inspire and have fun with every situation. Sometimes there's a lot of pressure on social media, but it should be fun. Let's keep it fun.

Speaking of sharing knowledge and giving great advice, I have this lovely book here, The T Guide, which you co-wrote with Gottmik (a.k.a. Kade Gottlieb). It's a great book, and it's been almost a year now since it came out. Have you gotten any surprising responses from fans who read it?

Oh, so many! Kade's parents wrote in the book. My dad and his new wife wrote in the book as well. And I've received a lot of beautiful messages, especially from those chapters, just being like, 'Wow, look at the journey that your families have both had with your transitions,' which is really important for people to see.

Another topic that we touch closely on is 'chosen family,' which we all know what it is… I mean, you're at Out magazine [laughs]. But yeah, we choose our family. None of my [blood relatives] are where I live, they're all back in Canada. Same with Kade, his family is in other places. So that was a really important thing that we wanted to touch on. It's so powerful to have people who align with your values, your morals, and your gender identities. It is so meaningful to us when we do [find that chosen family]. But also, there shouldn't be too much pressure or stress to get there. When it happens, it happens, and it just feels really good.

How are the fans reacting now that you're on this fitness journey and sharing content on OnlyFans?

It's been really positive. A few people in my life were like, 'Oh my god. Why are you doing OnlyFans?' I was like, 'Because they approached me and it just seemed right. It seemed really, really gorge.' And it has, indeed, been really nice. I've gotten a lot of support, too. A lot of girls are like, 'Oh my god, I'm on OnlyFans too, and now you're like my sister on the platform.' We all communicate on there, we're all DM-ing. It was shockingly surprising how supportive of a platform it happens to be. It's one of the most positive platforms [I've been in]. I never really get any hate on there.

I know YouTube and other places are filled with judgment. Like, Reddit and all that stuff. But OnlyFans is pretty positive. People are there for you because they want to see you and they want to see you succeed. They want to see you look beautiful and strive and be successful. And it's true. I had already heard that, but having experienced it for the past couple months, I can now say that it is true.

I think you and I are from the same generation of posting content on YouTube and seeing those comment sections. That was wild. It was truly the Wild, Wild West of the internet. I'm happy to hear about these positive experiences you're having on a new platform.

And I feel like, you know what? It's so much more dense now, all the social media networks. There's a lot more love, but there's also a lot more hate. But on OnlyFans, people are there just for you, which is very special and unique.

You always have so many things going on. I'm always very excited to follow your trajectory. So, what's next for Gigi Gorgeous in 2024?

Right now, me and my husband have six embryos. We're really excited about that because we worked very hard on our baby journey. It's taken a lot of lifestyle changes. I wasn't able to create any of my own DNA, so then I changed everything around lifestyle over the years, and now we are here with six embryos. There's no baby announcement yet, but we are on the path to that, which is exciting.

Hosting the Grammys red carpet was also life-changing for me. I never thought that I would do that, but I really enjoyed it. I went into it thinking like, 'Oh, maybe this is going to just be a one-off thing,' but I just had so much fun. Hopefully, there's more hosting stuff for me coming in the future. There's always a lot going on, but I can't talk about everything. I know that's a very annoying thing to say [laughs], but it's just the top of the year. 2024 is going to be major.

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James McDonald