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­­Inauguration Day: 10 Possible Melania Trump Outfit Changes

­­Inauguration Day: 10 Possible Melania Trump Outfit Changes

(AP/Alex Brandon)

The top 10 most likely hypotheses. 

Since Donald Trump's election win in November, there's been a growing list of designers who have publicly refused to dress incoming First Lady Melania for today's big coronation inauguration. She's already been spotted this morning in a powder blue Ralph Lauren number not unlike something Jackie O would've worn. Rumors are inevitably afloat on the Internet today with what she'll be donning for the rest of today's events, and we've chosen the top 10 most likely hypotheses:

1. Whatever Michelle Obama wore last Tuesday

2. Freshly plucked feathers from a bald eagle

3. A very chic executioner's hood

4. A gown that bears striking resemblance to an ostentatious kitchen island

5. A custom-designed cocktail dress by Nurse Ratched

6. A hat piece designed with netting over the face from Cruella De Vil's personal collection

7. A toe ring that costs more than the collective sum of student debt owed from students living in the Hudson Valley

8. A floor-length gown fashioned from multiple labels of Dom Perignon 2003 Rose

9. Glittery, sexy ashes from a heap of cauterized J. Jill clothing

10. A cape that says, "Ugh, Kay Jewelers," in Swarovski crystals on the back

Greg Mania is a queer NYC-based writer and comedian. His work has appeared in The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, BULLETT, CREEM, among other international online and print platforms. His first feature film, Deadman's Barstool, co-written by Dean Dempsey, will premiere this year.

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