Seven Reasons Why Gay People Are Better Than Straight People

EDITORS NOTE: We do not think all gay people are better than all straight people. We, in fact, do not think all gay people are anything. (Or all straight people, for that matter.) These are just some general observations. So please, lighten up. 1) When we have kids its because we really want them. Goodness knows we all hear about those silly breeders who practice unsafe sex and then get a surprise one day. Gay people dont have it so easy. When we want to have children theres always a third party (be it a test-tube, a surrogate, an adoption agency, etc.), adding to the already great challenge of deciding to become a mother or a father. Were not saying it makes us better parents, but OK, thats what were saying. 2) We have better style. If we didnt, would there have been a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? We think not. And given that most celebrated male fashion designers bat for our team, we rest our case. 3) We set the trends. How else can you explain us wearing $500 designer jeans years before they were popular? And where would metrosexuality be if we hadnt been getting ourselves plucked and waxed for eons? These may not be good things, but still, we were there first. 4) We take better care of ourselves. You know you walked into your 10-year high school reunion with more hair, fewer wrinkles, less fat, and better fashion than any other guy in your class. Be proud. 5) When it comes to partying, we do it up right. Every straight gal pal of yours (and some of your hetero guy friends too) tells you they have more fun at a gay club than they do at a straight club. And naturally most of the hottest party planners are queer. Its because were more fun. No really, we are. 6) We are devoted. Be good to us, well be good to you. No matter the generation, we stick with our divas (see Judy, Barbra, Bette, Madonna). And, hey, were brand loyal too! 7) Watch out for our wit. Growing up as outsiders (to one degree or another) forces us to be verbally fast on our feet. So be nice, or a cutting remark will slice you down to size.