Q&A: Thanks, but & actually, just thanks!
Manners by Steven Petrow
Avoid a holiday disaster this year by brushing up on your social grace. With the bevy of parties, office celebrations, gift exchanges and quality time with relatives you hardly know, awkward moments are sure to follow.
Q: Every holiday season, someone I love gives me a gift that I don’t feel the same love for. What’s the best way to handle gifts that I just don’t like?
A: I’m not a big fan of faking it—or anything that smacks of a lack of authenticity. But holiday gifts call for their own rules because everyone goes a little crazy this time of year. As I tell my little nieces, put on your happy face even before you open the box—and keep it on. You don’t need to say, “I love it,” but your face needs to show appreciation for the effort, and your mouth needs to say "thank you."
Sometimes your initial horror of a gift gone wrong may fade. If not, after a couple of days, try one of these options:
- See if you can determine what store the gift came from. Call and ask for their exchange and return policies. Do it within the stated time period.
- Tell the gift giver some variant of the truth: "It doesn’t really fit me." Or, "I realized I’ve got one just like that." Then ask for a gift receipt so that you can exchange it. Don’t make your friend feel bad about their poor choice!
- Create a re-gifting closet. Hold the present for another friend in another season or donate it to a charity that can make use of it. Be sure you remember who gave it to you so it does not inadvertently wind up in the wrong hands.
- Enclose the gift receipt in the box. No one needs to be the wiser if your friend chooses to return it.
- Give a gift card, especially if you have a history of your presents falling flat. Some cards are good for many stores; others for just one.
- Make a charitable donation in your friend’s name. Who can really not like that?
