Project Runway: The Blues

10.2.2009

By Noah Michelson

Mike Yarish/Lifetime Networks 2009

“I truly don’t want to go home,” says Louise, first thing. That means she goes home. But you probably had that figured out already. We’ve learned nothing about Louise until this episode and now she’s the focus. Sort of. Everything we know about her now is how much of a pain it is to work on a team with Nicolas.

This week’s challenge -- besides working with Nicolas, who’s awful as we all know -- was to make something really boring for Macy’s. The Macy’s lady shows up to tell everyone that the two pieces they’ll be designing have to be blue. Blue’s so great, the Macy’s lady tells them, because it’s so blue. They get their Macy’s dossier so they can practice being drones. Because if you think you’re the next Siriano and that Posh Spice is going to come courting you then you are living in Sillythoughtsburg. They go to Mood and they start their work. And Louise and Nicolas begin designing the two horror show dresses unveiled later on the runway. “It doesn’t worry me that Nicolas has immunity,” says Louise. Bah ha ha ha ha.

Nicolas, responding to this, basically says, “Hey, Louise, I have to stop helping you for just a second so I can walk over to the other side of the room -- follow me, camera guy -- and talk shit about you. I’ll be right back.” He does a lot of that and then hangs around some more, criticizing the ruffles that cover both weird garments. Then they lose. Nicolas has immunity and Heidi reminds him that he is very, very lucky.

And the best part of this episode is Heidi’s robot fingers. She has two of them this week. Two fingers covered in some kind of metal sheath. It’s so fascinating that it kind of trumps everything else happening this week, including the return of Michael Kors. Remember him? Anyway, they’re her version of brass knuckles. If we’re very, very lucky like Nicolas, she’ll put on more and more robot fingers each week, eventually covering her entire body in a sleek suit of armor so she can lay waste to the remaining challenge losers. I can dream. With this many boring designers that’s about all there is to do.

-- DAVE WHITE

Previously > Project Runway: Bring Back Kors And Nina!

Tags: Popnography
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