Project Runway: Bring Back Kors and Nina!

9.25.2009

By Noah Michelson

Reasons: Bad hair, unwarranted superiority complex, grating voice. I’ll think of other stuff, given enough time.

But worst of all, I imagine that each designer has to go in front of the interview-cam at least a few times a week while the shoot’s happening. And I like to believe that whoever’s conducting the interviews has a list of stock expressions they’re trying to milk out of each person. And then eventually they get to the question, “Would you say that you’re here more to win or to make friends?”

Now, I assume that by this point in world history that even the least culturally aware human being, the last remaining aspiring designer who’s never watched anything on TV ever, the one they found literally living in a cave on a mountain top in Tennessee with no electricity, working by candlelight, the one who looms his own fabric and allows his most talented pet billy goat to cut it with its teeth, would think to himself, “If I say ‘I’m here to win, not make friends,’ that might be a bit obvious, right?”

But Nicolas says it. Says it like no one’s ever thought of it before. Like the gay pug from Beverly Hills Chihuahua didn’t already ad-lib it and see it thrown out of that movie’s final cut, as if the four year-olds on Toddlers and Tiaras haven’t already tossed it off with more bitchitude than he’ll ever muster.
So of course he won the “Make a Movie Costume” challenge. I guess that means he really meant it. Let that be a lesson to everyone who wants to eventually earn their moment on reality television: there are no clichés you can’t pull out from the triteness dumpster that won’t shine if you polish them long enough.

Bonus lesson for the week: No one, not even Tim Gunn, can pronounce the word “genre.”

-- DAVE WHITE

Previously > Project Runway: Professor of Super-Lies

Tags: Popnography
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