Grammy Whammies

2.9.2009

By Noah Michelson

> Craig Ferguson boldly proclaimed “Lesbians are totally awesome!” (something we already know, of course) when introducing “the beautifully bi-curious” Katy Perry, who performed her ubiquitous hit "I Kissed a Girl." The Out 100 honoree made her appearance by being lowered onto the stage inside a sparkling golden banana. (No joke, and, no, I was not on drugs.) Bananas and cherries danced on video screens behind her (clearly subtlety was not the point), while she and others dancers cavorted (Perry’s not exactly a natural so she jumped and skipped a lot) onstage with a large green pear, a peach, a strawberry and an apple. Are they calling us fruits?

> Out 100 favorite, Adele, triumphed over Lady Antebellum, Jazmine Sullivan, the Jonas Brothers and Duffy for the coveted Best New Artist award and gave a teary, heartfelt acceptance speech.

> Unsurprisingly, the most compelling thing about the show was who DIDN’T show. Chris Brown, who was nominated for two awards and was scheduled to perform, canceled his appearance because he was arrested and charged with a felony in connection with domestic violence in the Hancock Park area of LA. His girlfriend, Rihanna, who was also nominated and supposed to perform, also canceled at the last minute leading many to suspect she was the one beaten up by Brown.

> And am I the only one who didn’t know Barack Obama had won two Grammys?

-- HARKER JONES

Previously > The best bet for Best Picture

Tags: Popnography
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