CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
The 2008 International Mr. Leather convention is held at the Hyatt hotel in Chicago. At a gear party in the hotel ballroom, among the hockey players, generals, human pups, helmets, and hog-tied twinks, I spot a man gussied up in a black rubber suit. A molded rubber basin is fastened over his front, with a metal chain. Urinal man?
Tubes funnel from the basin down into long gaiter boots. His head is hooded and a heavy-duty gas mask covers his face, so I have no idea what he looks like. Every last inch of human skin is hidden beneath rubber. Hes all urinal.
That suit must have cost $3,000, someone mutters casually, as if this is normal. Who am I to judge? Its a private party.
I walk over to urinal man and he greets me. Whats happening? Not much. I nod to the basin. You here for a fill up? I ask. Were in a ballroom! he huffs in muffled outrage. Right were in a ballroom and you are a human urinal. What a preposterous question.
Urinal man quickly got over his indignation. Later, in the ballroom bathroom, I find him on his knees and in heavy demand. Splish, splash, he was taking a bath! I took action shots and posted them on my blog because urinal man is a scream! I thought so, anyway. But the blog comments were extra pissy:
Republican Party Campaign 2008 Commercial: 30 seconds of footage from the 2008 IML, interspersed with 30 seconds of fluffy white wedding ceremonies.
Think what you will about water sports or election campaigns, but I spotted no Piss Player for McCain! sticker on his outfit. And yet urinal man has been cast in a political debate. On a 60 second commercial! The comments continue:
With terrific rights come terrific responsibilities. Fans of gay marriage cant have it both ways. Youre either mainstream or youre a pissing stream. You cant be both. So make up your mind.
Terrific responsibilities? Oink. Dont make me defend the piss pig.
Who insisted we pencil in Scantron bubbles endorsing either white weddings or golden showers? Why cant we have both? Whatever happened to D: all of the above?
Gay culture is at a crossroads. There are some who glory in being subversive and others eager to go mainstream. The problem isnt queers who want assimilation, but queers who want the rest of us to put away the rubber suits, the slings, the boas and to keep our kinks in the closet -- those who feel that if we all remain very, very quiet and only pee into porcelain, the popular people may knight us with their validation.
Disown your brother if the neighbors dont approve? Fall in line or be kept in perpetual time-out? This effort at image protection is an obsequious bow to injustice. It is sadly self-loathing. If were denying equal rights to freaks, who decides whats a freak? Suburban mothers who drive mini-vans with fuzzy steering wheels probably scare the piss out of urinal man. Should they be able to marry?
The mistake is in believing we have to pick between deviance and conformity. Equality and assimilation are two separate ideas. If we spent less time monitoring and hushing one another, our combined collective voice might stop asking for acceptance and instead advance the real argument, which is this: Marriage is a basic civil right afforded to citizens of this country regardless of behavior.
There is no need to put a romanticized, retouched cover model onto this debate. Its not about gaining mainstream approval. Toothless crackheads arent mainstream approved; neither are Scientologists or convicted criminals, and yet they can all marry. I could literally decapitate a stranger on the greyhound bus to Manitoba and still keep my (theoretical) wife. Once paroled, I could piss on her in the Hyatt hotel.
In Chicago, urinal man is in complete disguise. For all I know beneath the expensive rubber is a conservative congressman married to a woman with a fetish for denial. Alternately, he could be your run-of-the-mill piss bottom. And wed never know his political position. He didn't say. Our job is not to convince him to play nice, but to ensure the others play fair. That is our terrific responsibility.
JesseOnTheBrink.com
Send a letter to the editor about this article.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
29 LGBTQ+ celebs you can follow on OnlyFans
April 18 2024 1:00 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 times male celebrities had to say they weren't gay
April 17 2024 11:57 AM
21 LGBTQ+ reality dating shows & where to watch them
April 03 2024 4:01 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
14 queens who quit or retired from drag after 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
April 04 2024 12:56 PM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: The Daily
Trending stories from our video partner Advocate Channel.
For more videos and shows go to advocatechannel.com.
Trending stories from our video partner Advocate Channel.
For more videos and shows go to advocatechannel.com.
Latest Stories
Laurence Fox ordered to pay $220k to 'Drag Race UK' star Crystal
April 25 2024 1:29 PM
Zendaya wants to do even more movies with Luca Guadagnino
April 25 2024 1:09 PM
Sophia Bush defends Ashlyn Harris in emotional essay about sexuality
April 25 2024 12:27 PM
Jonathan Bailey joins 'Heartstopper' as the celebrity crush of our dreams
April 25 2024 10:36 AM
10 times Kehlani had our heads spinning with her iconic looks & style
April 24 2024 8:41 PM
Andy Cohen's alleged Bravo exit & 'Housewives' legal drama—here's what we know
April 24 2024 8:11 PM
10 iconic fictional pop stars in film & TV that we're still stanning
April 24 2024 7:22 PM