Gay Mafia's Gangland Style Hits

' Dress the stoolie in cement orthopedic sandals (with socks) and drown him in apple martinis

' Put the severed head of a Jack Russell Terrier in his bed

' Put his 'adult' Manhunt pics on your blog

' Dress him head-to-toe in International Male and drop him off anywhere in Alabama

' Cut the brakes on his Miata

' Shove him in the trunk of your car, drive him to Jerry Falwell's ironically named Liberty University, and enroll him in class

' Tie him to a chair and play Dr. Laura's radio show on a loop at top volume

' Get Michael Ovitz fired*

*Ovitz says this actually happened.