A Lesbian Wife Swap

2.7.2005

By Dickson Wong

Wow. Are you serious?

Nicki: [Laughs] Yeah. We're very both political, and the episode was supposed to come out around the time of the election, but it got pushed back. She also put up the American flag. I didn't mind that, but I was just thinking, Couldn't we have hung it with a flagpole instead of duct-taping it to my wall?

Were you at any point worried that Kris Gillespie would win your daughter Lizzie over, for example with Princess Day?

Nicki: [Laughs] No, not at all. I know how our life is here, although we don't have Princess Day or whatever and we don't have a tiara for her. We go to the movies, I take her shopping, and we do stuff together. I know the connection I have with Lizzie.

Did Kris Gillespie apologize at all after the post-swap confrontation for her hurtful accusations toward Kristine about her being a sexual predator who never should have been allowed near her children?

Kristine: No. She never apologized and she continued to say that's what I was. The thing that appalled me was that the husband didn't come to my defense from his wife who didn't know me for more than 10 minutes. And he knew I wasn't like that after living with me for 10 days. She insults me in such a cruel manner. And the kicker is that these are religious people and they live by the Bible.

Nicki: She was always pleasant to my face, but not to my back and when we shook hands she was really cold. She didn't even apologize off-camera or say anything sincere.

How would you say your family as a whole has benefited from the show?

Nicki: I mow the grass! [Laughs] The show made it seem like I didn't do anything, but I take care of everything inside the house. And Kris Gillespie just made me do everything. I'm also a lot less controlling now and I've relaxed a lot more.

Kristine: It really helped me and Nicki's relationship in that she takes part in helping out more now. And what I've learned is to be a better communicator. I also appreciate Lizzie's individuality even more, and we really want to let her explore her own individuality and become a person of her own.

Any regrets?

Nicki: No. I don't believe in regrets as a whole, so no.

Kristine: The whole thing' I feel foolish for doing it. I knew people were ignorant and cruel, but did I really have to spend 10 days with them? It saddens me that people are that cruel. Every time I think about Kris Gillespie, I think 'Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is deep to the bone.' That's her.

If you could say one thing to the Gillespie family that didn't air on the episode, what would it be?

Nicki: I really don't have an answer to that question. But I wish for Kris Gillespie to see that show in private and let it sink in to realize who she is. I hope she'll watch and have an opportunity to learn something from it about herself. I was initially in it to show Americans what it's like for a lesbian couple to live with a child and how normal and boring it is'just like everyone else. But the ignorance we had to tolerate and to be up close with discrimination was kind of freaky. I've never felt so much like my family was attacked.

Kristine: Just that the Bible was meant to bring people together to teach love, compassion, and understanding, and it wasn't meant to divide people and be used as a weapon. I just really wish that they could see it as that. It's supposed to unite, not divide. Kris Gillespie did not show me any love, compassion, or understanding. Also, one of my main concerns was to represent who I am. It was time to take a stand. I tried to represent the community as best as I could and I don't know if I did.

Well, we think you did.

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