Comedian Eugene Mirman has come up with the perfect way to respond to the new anti-homosexuality bill in Uganda (Read our previous article for a description.), which President Yoweri Museveni signed into law on Monday: Petition President Obama to call Museveni a Ding-Dong-Boob-Poopy and request he kill himself.
This is the updated, cleaner version of Mirman's initial petition, which read as follows:
WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO: To tell Uganda to go fuck themselves.
I would like Barack Obama to go on television and tell Uganda that their new anti-gay law is an outrageous crime against mankind and that they should go fuck themselves. I want him to keep saying "fuck you Uganda" until it is clear he is tired. Then I want him to say it one more time.
For whatever reason, the WhiteHouse.gov moderators removed that petition, but that's OK--Mirman came up with this equally incisive plan:
WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO: Tell Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni that he is a Ding-Dong-Boob-Poopy and request he kill himself. We are disgusted by Uganda's backwards, human rights betraying anti-gay law that passed recently. Knowing that it is not appropriate for the President to swear in front of children on television (even HBO), we ask that Barack Obama calls Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni a "ding-dong-boob-poopy" over and over and then sincerely for five to 10 minutes, tries to convince him to commit suicide. We'd then like Obama to sternly request that everyone involved with passage of that law puts "their ding-dongs into their own hoo-hoos for up to forty-five minutes."
Needless to say, we've been disturbed and angered by this recent slew of anti-gay legislation, (Russia, Nigeria, and now Uganda). Lucky for us, straight guys like Eugene Mirman are out there eloquently summing up our endless fury. As of now, 480 people have signed. You can, too! Just go here.