Quickies: Friday, September 9 2011
> That's malum prohibitum, your Honor! The 84-year-old woman who hit Reese Witherspoon with her car has been ordered to retake her driver's test.
> Phoenix Suns CEO Rick Welts, the first top exec in pro sports to come out, resigned today. He says he's doing so to be closer to his partner in Sacremento. Awwww.
> Contagion, the Steven Soderbergh movie that DARES to kill Gwyneth Paltrow in the trailer, opens today. Take some Airborne before you go.
> Ashton Kutcher goes full frontal in for Ellen DeGeneres. Home girl could not be less interested.
> He's part of her world now. Lady Gaga is dating Vampire Diaries actor Taylor Kinney, a.k.a. the mad-hot scientist who turned her into a mermaid in the "You and I" video.
> Kate Winslet tells her kids it doesn't matter if they're straight or gay.
Previously > Public (Art) Erections: When Is a Statue Too Gay?
Photo: Getty Images