Glee Recap: Putting The Sex In Sectionals
By Jon Roth
A new week, a new start, and this episode of Glee had us smiling more often and not. There were male strippers, there were heartfelt speeches, there were white tuxedos and a whole lotta MJ. Read on, reader, to see what you missed (or relive it, in prose form).
The New Directions are amping up for sectionals, and Finn and Rachel know the group is lacking luster. “We need star power,” Finn says. “We need Sam Evans.” A Facebook search and a four-hour drive to Kentucky later, and Rachel and Finn stop by the bar where Sam is working. An announcer introduces a trio of male strippers, including our very own Sam in a hardhat and overalls – overalls he quickly shucks off to expose red short shorts. They’re not quite as perfect as the gold lame hotpants he sported in the Rocky Horror episode, but the ladies seem pleased.
After the show, Rachel and Finn plead their case, and Sam explains that his abs are helping support his family. That’s all well and good, but let’s get our priorities straight: “We need you for sectionals,” Finn reminds him. So they head to Sam’s house, Sam explains to his parents that he’s heading back to McKinley (again, that’s four hours away) and he “just wants to feel like a teenager again.” Which, a friend noted to me, makes perfect sense when you’re 22.
Meanwhile Blaine and Kurt are settling down for a coffee when they’re interrupted by our favorite warbling villain, Sebastian. He aggressively hits on Blaine, as per usual, and as soon as Blaine bows out, Kurt and Sebastian go at it, throwing shade that would make Santana proud. At first Sebastian had us, with “One of us has a hard-luck case of the gayface, and it ain’t me.” But Kurt definitely wins this round, delivering what’s sure to be the go-to gay comeback of the season: “You smell like Craigslist.”
Sam returns to the Glee club and sings “Red Solo Cup” with his buds in the choir room. This is okay, but we don’t see what this alcoholic anthem has to do with... anything.
Quinn, who throws herself at anyone with a Y chromosome, hits on Sam in the hallway, explaining “I look like a supermodel now that my thyroid’s under control.” Sam’s not having it though and heads off to find Mercedes, who likewise is not having him.
In the choir room, the largely male glee club tries to find their missing spark. They decide they need more sex appeal, so Sam volunteers some of his stripper knowledge. He executes a satisfactory body roll (we’d give it an excellent, but his shirt was on) and Blaine throws a fit, accuses Sam of selling his body, and storms out..
Blaine ends up in a tank top, all sweaty and ragey and attacking a punching bag. Finn walks in and apologizes to Blaine for not treating him well this year. He explains he “felt threatened” by the Warbler’s skills. They reconcile, though we wish they’d done it with a hug. Or you know, some totally Platonic kissing.
Some other things to know before sectionals: Quinn keeps threatening to out Shelby for sleeping with Puck, Rachel tells her not too. Cute Asian Mike’s dad is furious that he’s continuing to dance. Also remember: Rachel Berry can’t participate, since she’s a suspended ballot-stuffer.
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