8 Ways to Tell You Have Masculinity Issues

11.25.2004

By Daniel Lee

1. You go berserk if another queer calls you 'she' or 'her.'

2. You have never and will never say 'girl.'

3. Your voice pitch and timbre change when you speak to straight men.

4. You only drink beer because martinis and variations of are too fey.

5. You keep saying things like, 'Man, he is so queeny! If I wanted to date a woman, I would date a woman!'

6. You conscientiously censor your behavior for fear of being perceived as 'femme.'

7. You feel compelled to actually tell people you are 'butch.'

8. You say you hate shopping.

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