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Jerrod Carmichael
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For Out100 Comedian Jerrod Carmichael, Coming Out Is a Laughing Matter

Out's Comedian of the Year came out in his Emmy-winning special Rothaniel — but his journey has just begun.

When Jerrod Carmichael arrived at the Emmys this year, he sported an absurdly large, open-chested fur coat. Historically at events, the comedian has worn variations of a black suit to be "a little less conspicuous." But on this recent red carpet, dressed in a splashy showpiece that highlighted a golden necklace and shimmering chest...we all saw him.

And when the 35-year-old arrives on set for his Out100 cover shoot -- in shorts and a wrestling championship belt in hand -- I see him too. Carmichael isn't an aloof Hollywood player. Rather, he's terrified at times -- and willing to admit it -- including at the responsibility of being the cover star of a queer magazine.

"I feel very new," he admits. Ask him about the obstacles he's overcome this year, and he stammers. Even the question is a bit much. "My legs started shaking with fear," he says. "I want to coil up and take a nap."

For the actor, producer, and comedian, 2022 was a pivotal year. With the release of his Emmy-winning HBO stand-up comedy special Rothaniel, Carmichael accomplished something he'd been afraid to do for years. He came out to his audience -- and the world. He knew, in that moment, it was time.

"Sometimes you find a moment where you can face it," he says. "That's the hard thing, just consistently facing things. You just kind of leap. It's kind of like a roller coaster or skydiving, where it's going to be scary and big but you're accepting it's not going to kill you. It's how I kind of learned how to swim, knowing the water is not trying to kill me."

Jerrod CarmichaelGILDAN white t-shirt; ARTIST'S OWN baseball cap


Carmichael makes clear he's a work in progress -- just like his coming out. This journey began in 2019 when he admitted in his Home Videos documentary that he'd hooked up with men before, though he stopped short of labels. But fans have been seeing him since NBC's The Carmichael Show, which from 2015 to 2017 was the smartest and most politically charged sitcom on network TV.

"I always think about that as just a fun experiment," Carmichael recalls. In classic sitcom style, the characters (loosely fictionalized versions of Carmichael's family) represented different archetypes of Black thought. They tackled tough topics like Black Lives Matter protests and LGBTQ+ rights with humor. Still, the show was snuffed out after three seasons.

"I really don't know where else it could have gone," admits Carmichael, the co-creator and lead actor. "I think I maxed out on where I was in life, the conversations I could have, and those battles I was having with my family. Sitcoms, for me, they're really exciting when they're about something real -- and then it can get diluted." Of the 32 episodes that aired, the star liked 23 of them. "That was good. Only me and the creator of [The Honeymooners] can just feel so satisfied on so few episodes."

And while Carmichael surprised scores of viewers at home and in the studio audience with stories of authenticity and grounded relationships, he really had an audience of one in mind.

"I was always trying to get my mom to stop washing the dishes," he says. "...And if something on TV caught her attention, she would peek her head in the room. And I was always writing to that, trying to...be something that could cut through and be real enough to get her to peek her head in and hear me."

"Comedians, no matter what the age, always make and create with the idea of the approval of someone in mind," he says. "And usually, it's our parents."

"I'm thankful that my eternal quest has been to try and change my parents' mind," he adds. "And in some way, while I'm in desperate need of that approval, I feel free from it. I'm free -- and I'm desperately trying to get it back always so it just makes for some weird, wild stuff."

Jerrod CarmichaelANN DEMEULEMEESTER white tank top; BODE blue shorts


For most, coming out is an individual accomplishment. But from Rothaniel to the Emmys, Carmichael is negotiating his gayness with the public as well as loved ones who may not be accepting. The result is far from a happily-ever-after. But it resonates with the actual lived experiences of LGBTQ+ people.

"Yeah," he admits, "it's uncomfortable, but that's exciting to me. It feels true and often not seen, because I found in my own life, I was trying to run from discomfort myself. And then a lot of times, by the time creative people make something, we've written away from [reality]."

For him, like many of us, the journey is unresolved, which Carmichael says makes it feel true. "I did Marc Maron's podcast," he recalls, chortling. "It was funny, at points a bit contentious. He told me he was upset that Rothaniel didn't have a closer. I was like, 'I think you're missing the point. Oh, you mean my current life?'"

Thus, the performance, the special, and even this article become part of Carmichael's journey. "[You're] trying to pull all of your resources to express yourself as clearly as you possibly can," he explains. "...Rothaniel is as much me speaking to my family as trying to make sense of it and making a comedy special."

While he's breaking down the divisions between art and family, Carmichael is pushing against the media tropes of (usually white and middle-class) gay men and their fiercely protective mothers. In reality, these relationships are far more complicated.

He's not the only gay creative tackling this topic. In Michael R. Jackson's Tony-winning musical A Strange Loop, protagonist Usher deals with rejection by his homophobic parents for being a fat gay Black man. This fight with his mother and her Bible is center stage in "Precious Little Dream / AIDS Is God's Punishment," sung with a preacher's intonation.

In this dueling duet, Usher's "mother is not accepting him but still beckoning him to come home: It's a rejection and a hug at the same time. It's an odd, weird, devastating feeling," says Carmichael, for whom this feeling is familiar.

With his mom, "I remain hopeful in motion," he says. "It took me some time to say it. The relationship is still strained, I'll be honest, but see where it goes."

Jerrod CarmichaelMUSIKA NY blue and white striped suit


Of course, not every reaction to Carmichael's coming-out has been negative. On Late Night With Seth Meyers, he pointed out how in New York City he received applause for saying he's gay: "Life doesn't work like that for the rest of it."

"You know what's funny? Honestly, it's really the nonqueer people who love to tell me, 'It gets better,'" he says. "I only hear straight people tell me that and white people tell me 'Black Lives Matter.'"

Mothers aside, Black women rank among the most supportive -- though some bristle when they find out he dates white men. In Rothaniel, Carmichael mentions this and receives pushback in the room from an audience he's encouraged to be vocal. Even Twitter is abuzz about his attraction. In reality, it's much ado about nothing.

"I've never really been in a substantial relationship," Carmichael admits. "Boyfriend's just better than 'guy I've been dating or [hooking up with].' It's a rhythm thing. I think a lot of people got caught up in that as some declarative statement. In reality, probably the loves of my life have been Black men who definitely left me devastated but hanging on." While he understands the consternation around Black men who are only attracted to white men, in his era of honesty, he's not going filter himself to stay on Twitter's good side. (In this vein, he describes himself as "a lifelong top," albeit one who is "open to change.")

This is Rothaniel Jerrod Carmichael, a man standing in the public square methodically negotiating who he is and loves. Making that work, as he noted when Rothaniel won the Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special, is "of great personal consequence to me." But it's work that is significant to legions of others.

"That's what I'm learning in real time," he says. "I'm understanding that being open to love is a big part of Rothaniel, just accepting [it]. I was so terrified that it shut me off from receiving love, and that's changed."

talent JERROD CARMICHAEL
photographer COYOTE PARK for GOOGLE PIXEL 7coyotepark.format.com @coyotepark
executive producer & senior director TIM SNOW@snowmgz
creative director RAINE BASCOS
1st assistant MASON ROSEmasonrose.photography @masonrose__
light tech EVADNE GONZALEZ@evadnegonzalez
digitech MERLIN VIETHEN
video AUSTIN NUNES austinunes.com @austinunes
producer STEVIE WILLIAMSx2production.com @beingstevie of X2 Production
set designer ORRIN WHALENorrinwhalen.com @orrinwhalen
art assistant BRANDON LOYD @ohmylord
stylist EDWIN ORTEGA edwinortega.com @edwin.j.ortega
styling assistant BROOKE MUNFORD @brookesquad
hair/groomer ABRAHAM ESPARZAabrahamjesparza.com @thisisbabe
manicurist RILEY MIRANDA@rileymiranda.nails

Jerrod CarmichaelJERROD in MUSIKA NY blue and white striped suit


This article is part of Out's November/December 2022 issue, out on newsstands November 8. Support queer media and subscribe -- or download the issue through Amazon, Kindle, Nook, or Apple News.

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Ryan Pfluger
9 Breathtaking Portraits of Interracial LGBTQ+ Lovers by Ryan Pfluger
Ryan Pfluger
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9 Breathtaking Portraits of Interracial LGBTQ+ Lovers by Ryan Pfluger

In their new book of LGBTQ+ couple’s portraiture Holding Space, Ryan Pfluger lets love guide the lens.


Ryan Pfluger

“I exist at the intersection of marginalization and privilege. I am queer — I am nonbinary — but I’m also white. Grappling with how to handle that as an artist — for my work to investigate a nuanced and complicated space — has been a long journey,” begins photographer Ryan Pfluger (he/they) in his introduction to Holding Space: Life and Love Through a Queer Lens, a revelatory new book of portraiture centering interracial LGBTQ+ couples.

In Holding Space, the meaning of the introduction is layered. The reader learns of the intent of Pfluger’s project — to explore intersectionality through photography of these subjects. But it’s also an introduction to Pfluger, who reveals that his career choice was influenced by an upbringing where he felt powerless. “My father a drug addict, mother an alcoholic. I was outed by my mother at 13 — an age when I didn’t even know what that meant for me. Control became an abstract concept that I was never privy to,” Pfluger shares.

“The driving force to be behind the lens though, was my instinctual desire for people to feel seen, thoughtfully and lovingly,” they add. “From my own experiences and of those I love, I know how damaging being seen through the eyes of judgment, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and so on can be.”

Gaining control — guiding the lens and the narrative — was an early driving force behind his work. (A renowned celebrity photographer, Pfluger will be known to Out readers for their 2015 Out100 portraits, which included Barack Obama and Caitlyn Jenner.) As photography became “less of a craft and more a part of my being,” however, “I discovered my gift to create art also held space for others—that relinquishing the control I had so desperately craved can be more powerful than possessing it,” Pfluger says. “Photography became a vessel of healing.”

To heal, hold space, and explore intersectionality in a way not seen before through their medium, Pfluger set out to photograph interracial LGBTQ+ couples within their social circle. This time, he did indeed relinquish control and let his subjects tell their story. They could choose the setting and their style of dress or undress. The only requirement was that they touch one another in some fashion.

By the project’s conclusion — “two cross-country trips, over a thousand rolls of film, and sixteen months later” — Pfluger had documented over 120 couples, many of whom were recruited through social media and the internet. Some had broken up over that time period and pulled out of the project. Others wanted to share their heartache. Their stories, in first person, accompany their portraits, which launch Holding Space from the genre of photography book to a work of nonfiction, a chronicle of queer love in the 21st century.

“That is the beauty of relinquishing control,” Pfluger concludes. “Allowing the space for things to evolve and change — for marginalized people to have control over their narratives regardless of my intentions. To listen and learn. That is why Holding Space exists.”

Over 70 portraits and accompanying essays are featured in Holding Space, published by Princeton Architectural Press. The book also boasts excerpts from luminaries like Elliot Page, Bowen Yang, Ryan O’Connell, and Jamie Lee Curtis, and a foreword by director Janicza Bravo. Find a copy at PAPress.com, and see a selection of photography below.

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Akeem (he/him) & Samuel (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“Despite our different desires, truths, and fears, there was a unique familiarity that made space for us to better understand each other.” — Akeem

“We challenged the system when we decided to be together, and we’re challenging it again by staying in each other’s lives and preserving the bridges we’ve built." — Samuel

Liz (she/her) & Carlena (she/her)

Ryan Pfluger

“Each and every day I am humbled by the intersectionality of our love. By the way our individual ethnicities, races, upbringings, and queer identities guide us toward an even deeper understanding of self and other.” — Carlena

“My hope is that by continuing to love one another openly and fearlessly, future generations will be inspired to also love without any bounds.” — Liz

Chris (he/him) & Joe (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“We are proud to be one of the few queer interracial couples within our immediate or extended family/friend circles, which has encouraged us to speak to our experiences and help others learn alongside us.” — Joe

Jobel (he/him) & Joey (he/they)

Ryan Pfluger

“The beauty that we are coming to experience in owning our sexuality is that we can define what it means for us and how we want to experience it.” — Jobel

Luke (he/him) & Brandon (he/him)

“Our differences are a plenty, but this love does not bend.” — Luke & Brandon

David (he/him) & Michael (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“We started our relationship at the height of the pandemic, and it was amazing to be able to run to Michael and feel safe in his arms.” — David

Milo (he/him) & Legacy (he/they)

Ryan Pflguer

“Queer relationships aren’t tied to the limited, binary expectations that typically define heterosexual relationships.” — Milo

“Creating more healthy space in our friendship has been peaceful for us. I feel we are embracing a new form of love.” — Legacy

Coyote (he/they) & Tee (she/they)

Ryan Pflguer

“Loving you feels instinctual, like a habit I was born with. It feels like I was born to love you.” — Tee

“I can feel you loving something deeper than the surface of me and it makes me feel so alive.” — Coyote

Jo (they/them) & Zac (they/them)

Ryan Pfluger

“What can I say other than it is incredibly life-affirming when Jo and I are able to achieve the level of coordination needed to experience the sensation of ‘them,’ and that it helps when I say, ‘I love them’ or ‘I trust them.’” — Zac

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Diane Anderson-Minshall