In a recent post on The Fix, author and former addict Nic Sheff revisits some of the darkest days of his meth addiction, when he was hustling on the streets of LA and NYC to get his fix. As a straight man selling his body to other men for drug money, Sheff acknowledges "It’s like being the ultimate punch line to every joke about addiction." But the author takes it a step further when he explains that his hustling wasn't a necessity, but a choice:
"I mean, don’t get me wrong, I needed the money. But, more than anything else, I wanted to feel beautiful. I could’ve made money in other ways. Prostitution was something I wanted to do. That sounds crazy fucked up, but it’s true. And when I was out there, you know, hustling, I’m telling you, a lot of the kids I met were just like me. They wanted to feel like I wanted to feel. They wanted to feel wanted. "
Sheff's life of addiction (which began with vodka at age 11) has been recounted twice, both in his own novel, Tweak, and his father David Sheff's bestseller Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction. You can read the rest of Nic's post on The Fix here. He also keeps a personal blog, A Date With Nic Sheff.