Q&A: Simon Doonan
Need help finding that perfect gift to say “I love you?” How about one that says “I loathe you!”? Simon Doonan, creative director for Barneys New York and author Eccentric Glamour makes up a bunch of words in order to explain why holiday sweaters are fabulous—and when 18-foot ladders make great holiday gifts.
Out: What should someone remember when shopping for gifts?
Simon Doonan: It’s hard to buy gifts for people when you’re a raving narcissist, because you give them what you want. Gift giving is really an exercise in de-narcissising people. Gay people are all a tidgy bit narcissistic. It’s about empathy. You have to think, “What does so and so really want?”What if you have to give a gift to someone you don’t like?
You can use gifts for revenge! Gift giving isn’t just about giving things to the worthy and fabulous, but also for people who deserve to be punished. You can buy the people who have bugged the shit out of you something really atrocious.What makes a great revenge gift?
If you have a friend who is really evil and lives in a minute apartment, and you buy them an 18-foot aluminum ladder from Home Depot and have it delivered by COD. Home Depot has a tone of massive things that make great revenge gifts for people who live in microscopic apartments. How about a ridiculously tight Speedo for a friend who is overweight? Oh no, that’s too nasty. Scratch that.What is the big trend in gifts this year?
Eco-friendly gifts are a huge trend this season. Barney’s is having a big green holiday and offering tons of environmentally conscious gifts. Buy all your friends one of our Hable Construction tote bags. They say “Lose the Plastic” on one side. It’s a big bag, so if you have a fight with your boyfriend and leave home, you can throw all your underwear and necessities in there. It’s also a vacation bag, but its primary purpose is to replace plastic bags at the supermarket.What kind of gifts do you like to give your boyfriend, Jonathan Adler?
I try to buy Johnny experiential gifts, like I’ll treat him to a weekend in Big Sur. Working as I do at Barneys, you tend to pick up a lot of things during the year, so when it comes to the occasion, I like to do experiential things. I’ve already bought him all sorts of baubles, belts, and knick-knacks.Buying clothes for someone can be tough if you’re unsure about their size and how things will fit. What do you recommend?
The best thing is to say “C’mon Mary, let’s go shopping!” A really nice gift is to take a friend shopping and patiently shop with them and help them find a perfect outfit or a perfect fit. Fit is the most important thing. Forget what’s in and what’s out—it doesn’t mean much anymore. But if something fits perfectly, and makes someone look great, that’s the perfect gift. Some people are reluctant to shop for themselves. Or it could be a great revenge gift! Pick out something terrible for them or tell them they look great in something atrocious. “Yes, that marabou jacket looks great on you! And no, feathers are perfectly alright for a man in a banking job!”How do you feel about holiday sweaters?
They are great! It’s a shame that there’s a diminishing interest in Christmas sweaters. The more explicit they are, the better. I hate subtle ones. It should have a damn great tree slapped on the front of it with huge baubles hanging off of it. There’s nothing worse than a subtle and restrained holiday sweater. It should have metallics and exclamation marks. The holidays are a time to put your notions of good taste on hold and enjoy yourself.What are three can’t miss gifts for the holidays?
Definitely a cashmere scarf—especially if you stick to a basic color like navy. Even autumns like me can wear navy. By the end of the winter, your scarf gets grody, so everyone needs a new one to cough into. A gift card. You can’t go wrong with a Barney’s gift card. A Jonathan Adler muse candle. After the candle burns out, you can eat your organic granola out of it—especially if you’re a lesbian! Of course, any stereotyping is purely unintentional.Your window displays for Barneys are gorgeous for the holiday! How did you decorate your home?
There was an S&M shop for years in the Village called The Noose. When they closed, they had this huge bin full of ben wa balls, I bought a ton of them and stuck them in a Jonathan Adler bowl and they look very chic and silvery. I had some people over for cocktails the other night and one went missing. I think I know who did it, but I don’t know how to accuse the guest. I’m irate that someone stole my ben wa balls and ruined my whole configuration! I should keep a metal detector to see if people steal anymore of my ben wa balls—they’re historic.