If you missed the American Music Awards last night, start your Thanksgiving celebration early. The show was a certified mess (and we're actually showing some restraint by using that word). Not only did Justin Bieber win four awards -- including Artist of the Year (which makes sense since the awards are based on fan voting and he has a legion of rabid 13-year-olds with nothing better to do than ensure his victories) -- but almost every single performance made us reach for our mute buttons.
Taylor Swift proved once again that looking cute does not a singer make (we didn't do any kind of hard math on this but from our estimates she was only singing in key for roughly 1/48th of "Back To December"). Katy Perry shrieked her way through, "Firework," previously one of our favorites from Teenage Dream, with the help of a boys choir (um, what?). Black Eyed Peas included some gratuitous running man-dancing robots and a few elevator shafts in their performance of "The Time," which has us wondering not only who are those other two guys in the group besides Fergie and Will.i.am -- and what purpose do they serve? -- but also just plain WTF. And let's not even get into Kid Rock (who let this guy back on stage -- much less into the building?).
At least we can always count on Pink who sounded great on "Raise Your Glass" and actually looked like she was having a good time. Oh, and might we suggest that until we get a new crop of pop stars who can sing live, why don't we go back to the good ol' dependable days of lip syncing? We promise we won't complain.
Previously > Hummer: Adele's "Someone Like You"