Trend Alert: Everybody is Crushing on the New Media Gays
By Max Berlinger
Hey everyone! Did you know that in some progressive circles—in liberal-minded global metropolises, of course—people consider homosexual males to be pioneers of the cultural climate? Some youngsters may think that gay men either think about delights of the flesh all day or how to hijack straight marriage—ninja-style, of course—but they'd be wrong. In fact, gay men spend most of their days thinking about aesthetically-pleasing objects and cerebral-yet-arty ideas. But this isn't anything new! Gay men have long been at the forefront of societal advances, just ask The Meatpacking District™. Yes, yes—since Stonewall, everyone knows that if you toss a gay man amongst the media sharks, he'll likely come out unscathed, if not with a job offer or two—chances increase if said gay wears a bowtie or thick-framed glasses. But with all these New Media (capital letters! Proper noun, people, keep up!) wonks fretting about the future of the publishing industry and how to make money in the magazine world, it seems that everyone forgot that gay dudes are the answer to every one of life's problems! Never fear, not one but two profiles came out yesterday about a trio of gay tastemakers: Tyler Brûlé (pictured) and Kirk and Nate Mueller. The New York Times waxes poetic about the admittedly dreamy Mr. Brûlé (sorry boys, he's taken, has both a circumflex and accent aigu in his last name, and owns a "summer house on a small private island in the Stockholm Archipelago" to boot!) while the Observer contemplated the identical twin Mueller boys—who have manipulated two of Mother Nature's aberrations (1. Identical twins; 2. Far-sighted) into a clever branding tool. Why I oughta (raises fist in mock fury)!
It's a—for lack of a better word—queer coincidence, but a welcome one nonetheless. I was growing ever-concerned that media insiders were forgetting who ran the show around here. I mean them, of course, not me. I'm a shlumpy assistant editor that lives twinlessly in Brooklyn! I don't own an electric razor, much less an island...in a foreign country! These guys are about as alien to me as a month without an out-of-state phone call to inform me that yet another credit card bill is going to collections. And while most nights I may or may not be watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills while eating Chinese take-out and obsessively checking my Grindr account, I'd rather my mother (and yours, frankly) think that all gay men live out the romantic existences of these guys. So, yeah, here's a toast to perpetuating this stereotype! If I have to
hide live in the shadow of any cliché, I'm happy it's this one.