10 Jokes About The Great(ish) State Of Texas
By Andrew Belonsky
Zack Wintin loves Texas. The 24-year-old was born and raised and continues to live in Texas, which really is a ringing endorsement for any town. But just because he loves it doesn't mean he doesn't see its many flaws and foibles, all of which give the comedian plenty of fodder for his stand-up act.
Here, in honor of SXSW, Wintin, ranked one of The Advocate's top 5 funniest Twitter comedians last year, shares 10 original jokes about the Lonestar State:
1. I grew up in east Texas or as I call it, “True Life: Breaking Bad”
2. Being gay in Texas is like being fat in gymnastics.
3. I got so worried when Texas congressmen were talking about “seceding,” but then I remembered they can't even spell it.
4. I love country music but only because I know I have a shot at hooking up with Kenny Chesney.
5. Everyone thinks Texans are hillbillies that go to church all the time which is so stupid because liquor stores aren't even open on Sunday.
6. Texas is called The Lone Star State because the only good thing to come out of it is Beyonce.
7. But It is weird that Demi Lovato is from Texas and got famous at a young age without appearing on Teen Mom.
8. Texas has the best barbecue because it's made out of innocent people that Rick Perry executed.
9. Texas is so great. You can have your cake and eat your cousin out too.
10. People hate on Texas, but it's not as bad as some other states, like Mississippi or Canada.