What Happens When You Replace ‘Wand’ With ‘Penis’ in Harry Potter Quotes

Photo: Attitude Magazine

Gifs: Giphy.com via Warner Bros.

The innuendo has always been there, ever since Harry first grasped his wand in The Sorcerer's Stone. But now, thanks to BuzzFeed and their community, 26 quotes from the entirety of the Harry Potter series have had instances of the word "wand" replaced with "penis."

"'EXPECTO PATRONUM!' Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his penis tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it."

"Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his penis from his trousers. 'It's no wonder I can't get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they're tight!' 'Oh, I'm so sorry,' hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his penis instead."

"Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, penises raised..."

"'There will be no foolish penis-waving or sill incantations in this class.'"

"'Your authority! She sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp. 'You lost your authority when you lost your penis, Lucius!'"

Read the rest of the childhood-ruining alterations on BuzzFeed.