This Queen is Serving Eyewitness First Time in Drags on the News

I don't know how the internet feels about starting out posts by just screaming nonsense, but: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHVKFGSJKHBADADYAAAAASSSS!!!!!!

That's the only way to describe the video of young Courtney Barnes snatching her 15 minutes of fame as the latest local eyewitness turned viral sensation.

On Monday in Jackson, Mississippi, a van being chased by a Jackson State University Police officer plowed into a ploice cruiser, injuring the JPD officer. Luckily, Miss Barnes, sporting her daytime-errand makeup, was there to give her firsthand acount to MS News Now.

According to Courtney, she was just living her life -- and celebrating the unicorn that gave his so that she can have a ponytail -- on her way to buy "a piece of burger from Burger King" when the accident happened:

It's like ratchet Shakespeare. But if shade be the Burger King of love, slay on.

I'm sure there's already a remixed video on the YouTubes somewhere, but I don't want it to ruin the magical experience in this -- its original, purest and most naturally occurring form: TURNT.

Les Fabian Brathwaite -- HITTING THE POLE, GIRL!