1. First, recognize that the couple (who may have already been living together for many years) may not need many of the basic household items usually given for showers and weddings. However, they may be interested in adding to or replacing pieces of their favorite crystal, china, or silver patterns -- or receiving related decorative pieces such a matching candle holders or vases.
2. Appreciate that couples may prefer some wedding gift that recognize/celebrate/contribute to their gay pride.
3. Because right now most gay weddings have not had much planning time, offering your time and expertise can be the best gift you can give: Offer to video or photograph; contribute the wine, champagne, or liquor; bake cupcakes for each guest; order napkins with their new monogram;'purchase and keep the wedding guest book; offer flowers, greenery or herbs from your garden; help with or make decorations; offer your yard or home for the reception and/or wedding; make a video or audiotape of greetings from friends and family members who cannot attend the wedding.
4. Cater to their sensual side with silk sheets, matching PJ's and slippers, aromatherapy, set of DVD's, certificates for massages or a spa package, gifts of buffed metal or leather.
5. Give something which is significant to their relationship, such as a gift package or gift card/certificate from the place where they first met whether Starbuck's, Barneys NY, Barnes and Noble, a local bar -- or from where they became engaged.
6. Compile a remembrance scrapbook for the couple of photos and handwritten messages from their family and friends.
7. Select same-sex gifts which show pride in each other and in the relationship: his/his or hers/hers monogrammed towels, sheets, pillows, aprons, or crystal; matching cufflinks with their combined new monogram.
8. Choose to make your gift special by giving a voucher for a weekend stay at a B & B; kitchen appliance or utensils along with a gift certificate from Whole Foods;'a monogrammed decanter along with their favorite bottle of brandy; or their favorite music.
9. Relate the gift to their special interests by giving tickets to a concert, play, opera or a museum membership; movie gift card to their favorite foreign film theater along with a gift certificate to the coffee shop next store;' over-the-top kitchen equipment for making fancy desserts or special cookware.
10. Make your gift choice count by donating to a charity in the couple's honor; selecting a gift from the gift registries which donate 10% back to a charity in the couple's honor; planting a marriage tree or giving plants or shrubs for their yard (or gift certificate for); selecting a gift which is environmentally friendly.
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