How Momma Met Mommy

1.16.2014

By Out Contributor

Cindy Meneghin & Maureen Kilian share the story of how they met and created a family together


Maureen, Parish Worker:
Our children don’t realize how much of an effect they’ve had on changing people’s minds. Straight people see a lesbian couple, and if they don’t know lesbians or they’re not close with them, they can’t relate. But when they see a family with children, they realize that Cindy and I as parents have a lot of common with them. We’re all trying to take care of our children, keep them safe, bring them up as best we can.

And it’s a big sigh of relief that we finally have marriage in New Jersey. In 1996, we were at the hospital; we didn’t really know what was wrong with Cindy and the doctor said that we better go to the emergency room. All of a sudden, the staff started asking me questions and Cindy’s on the gurney and we’re rushing through.

They asked me who I was. They said, “Are you related?” And I said, “Well, I’m her partner,” and they started to hold me back and went ahead with her. It didn’t dawn on me at first what they were asking me, that they didn’t want to let me in the room with her. Finally, Cindy yelled out, “She’s my power of attorney! She has every right to come with me!” They didn’t really know how to dispute that. At the time, I wasn’t even thinking. My mindset was: I want to be with Cindy. She needs me. In my mind I was allowed to be with her. Now, thank God, we can use the word “marriage” because we are married. So hopefully, in the future, we’ll have nothing to hold us back or keep us apart.

“We were threatened with beatings and rape to turn us the right way. But our friends stood by us, and one teacher stood by us.”

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