Even Baby Karl Lagerfeld Was a Grumpy Old Man

5.9.2014

By Les Fabian Brathwaite

"I didn't play with other children, I thought they were dreadful”

If Sophia Petrillo has taught us anything, it’s that getting older gives one carte blanche (Deveraux) to say whatever the hell they please. Eighty-year-old Karl Lagerfeld, however, seems to have been born a cantankerous curmudgeon, as evinced by a recent interview he did with a German mag.

Lagerfeld told zeit.de (via Yahoo!) that, as a child, he found other children “dreadful” and he was already ripping their fashion choices to shreds at a college level. “I’ve always found short trousers degrading — they're for dumb boys," the ponytailed one grumbled.

"I didn't play with other children, I thought they were dreadful,” Lagerfeld continued. “The only thing I did was read, learn languages and sketch. As a child I only had one wish: to be grown up. Now I don't find that important anymore."

You can’t teach an old dog old tricks, either, as the Chanel creative director also expresses his distaste for the elderly.

"I don't know anyone from my generation,” Uncle Karl proclaimed. “I find those people terrible.”

If he’s in a race with Father Time, Karl tripped him up about ten years back since he lives a very Spartan lifestyle to keep himself fit as a fiddle and twice as stringy. Lagerfeld doesn’t “drink alcohol, take drugs or smoke” and he’s not a fan of plastic surgery either.

"Nothing makes you look older than attempting to look young," he said. "You can fool anyone, apart from the young. The worst are the lip operations. There are people who have it done and I don't recognize them afterwards. They look like they flew through the windscreen during a car accident and were patched up badly afterwards."

So just to recap, Karl Lagerfeld doesn’t like young people, old people, or anyone for that matter. He better be careful, though, or else one day Anna Wintour’s going to have enough of his shenanigans and commit him to Shady Pines.

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