Madonna’s Banned From A Chain Of Cinemas
By Alex Panisch
1. Madonna was banned from The Alamo Drafthouse movie theaters after an incident at the New York Film Festival. The NME reports that Drafthouse CEO Tim League tweeted “Until she apologizes to movie fans, Madonna is banned from watching movies.” League’s tweet accompanied a link to a Daily Mail article about Madonna texting on her BlackBerry during a NYFF screening of 12 Years A Slave. The Alamo Drafthouse theaters hold a zero tolerance policy on texting. When Entertainment Weekly asked League about it, he said the tweet was an offhand joke, a "spur of the moment 140 characters," adding that it was "more of a means to get the issue out there, that it is rude to text during movies." But, now that his tweet has gotten such traction in the media, League says he’ll enforce the ban. That being said, he’s not being delusional about the ban: “I’m serious, but I don't think [the ban] really affects her life that much." Madge we love you, but texting during the movie is inexcusable, show some manners. Also maybe it’s time to retire the BlackBerry, it’s not 2007.
2. Charlie Hunnam is dropping out (read: jumping ship) of the Fifty Shades Of Grey film. He claims his too busy filming Sons of Anarchy, which is code for “this is gonna flop harder than Waterworld, bye!” Fans on team Bomer have started a Change.org petition championing the out actor for the lead role of Christian Grey. They already have over 75,000 signatures.
3. Kuwait fired back at Amnesty International for criticizing their stupid, fake science. According to Pink News the country’s MPs have veheminetly defended a purposed measure that would institute “medical tests” to prevent gay and trans people from entering and working in the country. MP Abdul Rahman Al Jiran told Kuwaiti newspaper Al Rai, “The decision to bar homosexuals from entering Kuwait is a sovereign decision. Amnesty International should take care of lofty and noble goals for which it was established, leave aside homosexuality and deviations and stop defending delinquents.” Homosexuality is already illegal in Kuwait. Damn, Kuwait was totally on the top of my list for Winter Hols.
4. Singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens has jumped on the “write an open letter to Miley” bandwagon. The poor woman has so many of those by now she could probably wallpaper her mansion with them. While Sinead O’Connor’s letters have been warnings about being exploited by the music industry, Sufjan’s are reminders that grammar counts, damn it! The opening of the letter reads: “Dear Miley. I can’t stop listening to #GetItRight (great song, great message, great body), but maybe you need a quick grammar lesson. One particular line causes concern: “I been laying in this bed all night long.” Miley, technically speaking, you’ve been LYING, not LAYING, an irregular verb form that should only be used when there’s an object, i.e. “I been laying my tired booty on this bed all night long.” Whatever. I’m not the best lyricist, but you know what I mean. #Get It Right The Next Time.” We at out are in agreement with Sufjan and will be starting a fund dedicated to getting a copy of Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style to Ms. Cyrus. We are currently accepting donations.
5. Jessica Walter (A.K.A. Lucille Bluth/ Malory Archer/the dame of all dames) will be gracing the small screen again. This time, she's on TV Land’s comedy Jennifer Falls.
6. Gay YouTube phenom Mister Chase covers Miley’s "F U" and puts a soulful blues spin on it. Check it out below: