The late, great Aaron Spelling, legendary producer and father of Tori, seemed to have something of a golden touch on television. It was he who gave us classics like Dynasty, Beverly Hills, 90210, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and even a family-friendly drama in the form of the long-running 7th Heaven. He revived Joan Collins's flagging career, made Heather Locklear a star, and gave us both Starsky and Hutch.
But not all of Aaron Spelling's shows were such a success. And, no, we're not talking about Model's Inc, the too-young-to-die Melrose Place spin-off. For the most part, the shows listed here were so brief and unsuccessful that they didn't even garner a cult following.
So, on the eve of the new Fall television season (READ: 5 TV Shows We're Excited For this Fall), we present to you, in chronological order, 10 Failed Aaron Spelling Television Shows.
1. CHOPPER ONE: Aaron Spelling helped break new ground in the action-drama genre in the 1970s, but even he couldn't make Chopper One, an ABC show that aired in 1974, a high-flying hit.
2. B.A.D. CATS: Aaron Spelling's television programming had a tendency to both copy itself and resemble its own parody, as seen in this 1980 replica of the Spelling hits Starsky and Hutch and TJ Hooker. In this case, Michele Pfeiffer provided the required beauty, while the title's gimmicky acronym stood for Burglary Auto Detail Commercial Auto Thefts. Ugh.
3. GLITTER: In 1984, ABC television executives thought that Spelling's success with the oil-centric clan on Dynasty could be replicated in a primetime sudster about the titular magazine. They were wrong.
4. LIFE WITH LUCY: Spelling once tried to create a similar show with another famous face, 1981's Aloha Paradise, starring Debbie Reynolds, but clearly he didn't learn his lesson: This 1986 ABC sitcom starring comedic icon Lucille Ball as a grandmother raising her family and working in a hardware store landed in the trash heap after only 13 episodes.
5. THE HEIGHTS: Arg! If only this musical drama had been called Glee and had premiered on Fox in 2009, not 1992, when it ran for only 13 episodes. But, hey, at least it gave Donnelly Rhodes something to do.
6. 2000 MALIBU ROAD: Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Beals were the big names Spelling hoped would turn this 1992 summer soap about women living in a beach house into a hit, but, alas, the grand plan was a supreme failure. A scant six episodes aired on CBS.
7. UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL: In 1995, inspired by ER, Spelling Entertainment tried its hand at a medical drama. It lost that hand: only 9 episodes were ever made, but apparently it was popular enough to be dubbed over, as you'll see in this clip.
8. KINDRED: THE EMBRACED: Described as a cross between The Godfather and Melrose Place, and clearly inspired by Interview with a Vampire, this 1996 vampire drama set in Los Angeles was not nearly as successful as any of those titles. CBS put a stake through its heart after eight episodes. On the bright side, that gave Kelly Rutherford the opportunity to move into Melrose.
9. MALIBU SHORES: There was some solid talent on this 1996 show — pre-Felicity Keri Russell, pre-Buffy Charisma Carpenter, and the terribly underrated Susan Ward — but the West Side Story-meets-90210 premise tanked with viewers.
10. TITANS: Spelling enlisted some serious soap stars — Jack Wagner, Victoria Principal, Yasmine Bleeth − to create a "Dynasty for the next generation" in 2000, but even the good-looking cast couldn't save this schlockfest sudster. But it wasn't all bad. As with other Spelling flops, this provided a platform for emerging stars, in this case Kevin Zegers and John Barrowman.