Earlier this week, after attending drag legend Lady Bunny's “Hot Mess” party at Manhattan nightclub XL, RuPaul's Drag Race winner Sharon Needles found herself in a bit of a quandary: she had to drain the snake.
Unfortunately for Needles, she had already left the nightclub and what she thought was located in a secluded corner ripe for some natural graffiti—which turned out to be one of the worst possible places for a queen to take a leak. That's right, a police station.
“I had gone to Lady Bunny's show that night because whenever I get a chance, I love to watch other entertainers,” Needles tells Out exclusively. “I had a couple of drinks with friends, I had a lot of Red Bull. I was on my way home and it hit me: I had to pee so bad.”
And when a drag queen has to pee, folks, it's no simple matter.
“Drag queens do something that's called tucking,” Needles explains for those who might not know. “It's the art of putting your testicles up inside your body and taping your penis near your anus.”
Needless to say, tucking makes the act of relieving yourself a bit complicated. In Needles' own words, “I was literally going to pee into my butt because of where my penis was.”
Having crossed Broadway, the Pittsburgh-based beauty spotted what she thought was an alley and she sidled up between two parked cars to answer nature's call. Unfortunately, the other line rang in the form of an unexpected visitor.
“I felt a tap on my shoulder—it was a policeman,” a still-shaken Needles recalls. “He asked if I usually pee on police stations, and I looked up and there it was: A police station. There were cop cars all lined in a row, but I hadn't even noticed because I had to pee so bad.”
An attempt to reason with the officer wasn't effective.
“I tried to apologize and said I had seen dogs pee on the street a million times and it was just natural,” she says. “I tried to explain tucking to the officer and he didn't understand, so he took me in.”
The result? A 20 minute wait for the gift of a ticket for public urination. Not, Needles stresses, the arrest that wags have been whispering about.
Looking back on the incident, America's Drag Sweetheart can see the humor in the situation.
“It wasn't on purpose, but I think it was funny that it was a police station,” she says. “Because I find there's so much unnecessary angst and brutality from American police officers.”
All in all, Needles says the ordeal wasn't nearly as bad as has been reported.
“It wasn't the worst thing America's top drag queen could do,” she says, “it really sent home a message.”
Photo by Mathu Andersen