Kardashian Pal to Sue Humphries for Calling Him Gay

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries might hold the record for the gayest divorce in history (second to any of Judy Garland's, which we'll lump together). Her best friend Jonathan Cheban (star of Kardashian-born reality show The Spin Crowd) is now considering a $5 million dollar lawsuit against Humphries because he called Cheban gay. Sure, constantly reminding friends that you're a content heterosexual is a sure sign of the opposite, but is a lawsuit really necessary?

A friend of Cheban's told RadarOnline.com, "Jonathan was offended. He is not gay and Kris' comments were derogatory, a slur against his character, and given it's being broadcast on a program that airs internationally, it has the potential to cause serious damage to Jonathan's reputation."

There are just a few disheartening things in that quote.

1.) Are you aware that you just said that being gay is comparable to a slur against one's character, and that to be called such is... derogatory? You know that's, like, offensive and idiotic, right?

2.) Cheban is deeply entrenched in a reality show, true, but Mr. Humphries doesn't sit at the cutting room table and decide what to include in the program. Why not consider taking this up with the producers or... oh, yeah, not being part of a reality show (one which makes you out to be gayer than any squabble between you and Humphries could)?

3.) As a reality star sidekick, being gay has pretty much no serious potential to damage your reputation. If that's the worst thing people say about you, be honored.

Point is, if you're a straight guy you should take the mistake in stride and explain to your friend's husband that you're just not gay. Defending yourself with a lawsuit only draws attention to the fact that you have the hair of a soccer mom from 2005, the lips of Taylor Armstrong, and a job that is inherently homosexual. You know?