Kris Humphries Is Gay? Only 'Star' Magazine Thinks So

12.1.2011

By Adam Rathe

Tab explains demise of marriage: Kris is a queer

His unhappy marriage, which he is reportedly attempting to have annulled, didn’t last three months and he was perhaps the most watched man on the planet for most of that time, but it was likely latent homosexuality that kept Kris Humphries from attempting to endlessly ravage wife Kim Kardashian according to Star magazine.

According to unnamed sources, Kardashian began to question her husband’s heterosexuality when, after their honeymoon, his interest in sex began to fade. These same “insiders” went on to tell the rag that Kardashian attempted to “spice up their love life” only to be turned down after performing a strip tease. New Jersey Nets star Humphries, it’s said, preferred to watch the very gay programming on SportsCenter.

When Kardashian—who, despite her irritating ubiquity, is something of a genius and seems much smarter than this story would allow—was confronted with this obvious assertion of queerness, she turned to an expert in the field of dating men who seem a bit off: her sister, Khloe.

Khloe reportedly told her sister that any lack of libido on Humphries part was as good as a big pink triangle on his NBA uniform.

“At first Kim thought that was ridiculous,” the magazine reported. “But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered. There were signs.”

Such as? Humphries “loves shopping and beautifying as much as Kim,” and recently got “up close and personal” with brother-in-law Scott Disick when he shaved the other man's armpits on the premiere of Kourtney & Kim Take New York.

Naturally, Humphries rep has already called the story “completely false” and denied rumors that he’s gay. In fact, it’s hard to imagine who except employees of Star magazine might actually think this is the case.

Tags: Popnography
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