Glee: Last Night's All-Girl Mash-Off
By Jon Roth
Consider last week's West Side Story and teen sex episode a Bernstein-approved interlude because it was back to plots from two weeks ago in last night's Glee: lesbian angst, teacher-student relations, and a farcical campaign trail. All this, and plenty of mash-ups—Glee's first and still most enjoyable medium—made for an episode that had our jaws dropping (and someone's jaw smarting).
We open with Puck's pining over substitute teacher Shelby (Idina Menzel, for those of you new to the class). They shared a kiss two episodes back, which has the teen waxing rhapsodic about other May-December romances (we might add Mary Kay Letourneau to the list). Cue our first musical number, "Hot for Teacher." It starts in the classroom, where Puck wraps a bandana around his head and Shelby sports a skintight pencil skirt, then ends a bit more realistically in the music room, where Blaine and Mike provide some raunchy backup moves to Puck's David Lee Roth imitation. No one thinks this is an inappropriate song for a high school except Rachel Berry, who is immediately shot down when Mr. Schue gives Puck a dude-approved high five.
Meanwhile, it's time for sectionals, which means the New Directions and the Troubletones will be competing musical forces. Shelby and Mr. Schue inaugurate the first ever Glee Mash-Off by performing Gaga's "Yoü and I" melded with an '80s song of the same name: we didn't actually recognize the '80s song, but Popcrush did. It was a nice duet (and we continue to thank God and the Murphy-Falchuk duo for bringing Menzel and her pipes to the cast).
On the campaign trail, Sue Sylvester releases a series of negative ads implying that Kurt's adorable bear of a dad has a baboon's heart, and might be married to a donkey. We're baffled by the zoo references, but no one else finds them ridiculous. When Kurt tells Sylvester to lay off the mud-smearing ("Did you know 30% of the voters actually think my dad has a baboon's heart?") she waves him off, telling him that this isn't personal: It's about winning.