Bizarre Drinking Habits
By Mike Berlin
In high school, sometimes you do anything within reach to get drunk or high: stealing your parent's light rum and filling the bottle with water, snorting the air from a whipped cream bottle in a friend or a friend's half-bathroom, taking seven times the recommended dose of cough syrup until you either pass out or throw up (or both!). But never have teens been so committed to getting wasted, as evidenced by this news report alleging that they're now a) taking tampons, b) soaking them in alcohol, and c) INSERTING THEM IN THEMSELVES.
Apparently, the effect is much more drastic and concentrated because the alcohol enters your bloodstream directly (without the pesky interference of stomach acids to cushion the blow). The only downside is that you have no way of knowing whether you're getting too drunk, like vomiting. So it's alcohol's answer to intravenous injection.
OK, that's really gross (or utilitarian?), but here's the interesting thing: Guys are doing it, too, with beer. Does this mean that teen boys are now deflowering themselves with boozy tampons? Does this make them enlightened, or just wack? Just how drunk does it get you, and how many calories are involved? Will high schools enforce pad-only zones?! Inquiring minds need to know!