Hats Off: UK: 1; US: 0

So this past weekend the Kentucky Derby took place, which is America's answer to the Royal Wedding except instead of a high-profile parade of VIP's attending a thirty-million dollar nuptial The Derby is a chance for D-list celebrities to wear their latest finds from Filene's Basement and toss a lampshade on their heads and drink equestrian-themed cocktails (ew) and watch some horses run in circles. These two events being so closely placed together allowed the New York Times to ponder: will ornate, elaborate hats become de rigueur in the States? Well, if this slideshow -- from The Cut -- featuring a withering line-up of has-beens and never-wills sporting tragic head-appendages is any indication, Europe just body-slammed us in the Chapeau War of 2011. As the feather-duster-meets-Chernobyl monstrosity that is perched atop Kate Gosselin's noggin (we're not even going to start on the dress) versus the sleek, asymmetrical saucer with a frothy dollop of structural joy that the ravishing Sophie Winkleman donned denotes, the Brits just do it better. Listen, we won the Revolutionary War fair and square, so we'll wave the white flag on this battle of the bonnets.

Photos courtesy of Getty