The A List Cast Now Includes....A Woman?
By Max Berlinger
The cable TV equivilant of having acid thrown in one's eyes known as The A-List was not only picked up for another season of mortifying moments, screeching fights, unintelligible accents and overly-tweezed eyebrows but it also gave birth to an evil cousin, which will take a bunch of homos from "everything's-bigger-in-Texas" Dallas. Knowing that alone is worthy of a Phentermine-Tylenol pill combo (luckily we have both in our Prada purse in a Cartier pill case, duh).
But oh-ho! What's this? There shall be a new addition to the Big Apple's cast in addition to all the original members who shall return for another season of self-promotion (of what, exactly, we're not so sure) and bitchy frippery. But this new member of the show doesn't even have an -- ahem -- member! It's a chick, y'all! Yes, according to Gawker the newest housewife could actually get married and everything! Her name is Nyacha Zimucha (pictured, left) and she sounds just as terrible as a media-whoring gay man, so maybe she'll fit right in. She's a recording artist, a former judge on a TV show about child beauty pageants and the CEO of a weave company called Embrace Your Hair. We're getting some real crazy Omorosa vibes from her, and not just because she's black, so don't even go there. It's this weird obsessively perfect exterior mixed with sad, empty eyes. Something dark and troubling resides in Nyacha's soul -- we can tell, we're experts at this kind of stuff from having seen every episode of every franchise of The Real Housewives of [Insert City Here]. Anywho, if anything maybe this lady can put some of the not-so-ladylike boys in their places for season two. Fingers crossed!