We've always loved us a Mini. The original, that little rattly tin thing, was like riding a go-kart, but with more charm.
And we kinda loved the new ones that hit the road in 2001. Maybe they didn't have the same link to queerness as the Beetle did (we never liked that "gay car" nonsesne anyway: we'll drive a Hummer if we want, though really, who'd want?) but they were zippy, looked good and had that wee hint of Britishness we like (without the need to actually have to deal with an actual Brit in person).
Now, though, there's the new Countryman all ready to roll: and, er, it's huge. Really, it looks like someone's taken a custom order for a tribe of actual giants. Where the original was just over 4 feet 5 inches tall, and the 2001 model another 2.5 inches higher, this beast is 5 feet 1.5 inches. And at almost 13.5 feet long, it's nearly 3.5 feet longer than the original.
OK, there's a built-in sunglasses case, iPhone connection (of course), and a real fancy multimedia screen, and there is the 4WD option if you're one of those Country Gays who needs to haul antiques all year round. So, if unless you're little, and would therefore, at a distance, look like a kid stealing a regular Mini, it's pretty impressive. And the price? The UK model will start at the equivalent around $24,000.
But really? It's still called a Mini? We'd advise "Maxi" 'cept those are sanitary pads. There's a nice load of images of it over here.
--G. EARL
Previously > The English Football Association Takes On Homophobia
