The adage "You are what you eat" got it wrong. In truth, you are what you wear.
Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel is an Herve Leger banded dress. Heiress Nicky Hilton's a patent leather peep-toe pump, ice skater Johnny Weir a Russian-approved fur coat, publicist Kelly Cutrone a Yohji Yamamoto black sweater and designer Christian Siriano a self-made flashy lady-blouse.
We know all this thanks to Bluefly.com's web series Closet Confessions, which launched months ago but only recently took to the airwaves with condensed TV commercials. Oh, you've seen them. They're short, quippy glimpses into celebrity's wardrobes with white lines squiggled on the frame, as if Perez Hilton lent his hand to the marketing ploy. While you've heard Bethenny Frankel declare, "Tailoring is the key. I would tailor my underwear" in the commercial, head to the Closet Confession site to see the full three-minute video of one-liners.
You'll also find Johnny Weir saying, "I call it my Martian bubble coat. I'd wear something like this to the grocery store" or Kelly Cutrone's always-classic witticisms like, "When you wear it out and people say, 'Um, I think you have your coat on inside out,' you look at them and go, 'Are you out of your mind? I'm wearing Comme des Garçons. Check it.'"
So far, Bluefly has produced nine closet tours, and, if we may be so bold, we have a few suggestions for future confessors. We would lit-rally die for a walk through Rachel Zoe's archive, and for that matter Brad Goreski's, too. America's Next Top Model duo Tyra Banks and Andre Leon Talley would be hoot, as would a peek inside Joan River's jewelry box (or rather, vault). Food for thought, Bluefly.
-- PHILLIP B. CROOK
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