Popnography
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
Photo: Getty Images
I admit it -- I'm a fan of Say Yes To The Dress. The slutty ensembles purchased by devout Christians, the closeted brothers acting as style mentors, the MILFs using camera time to expose their boobies -- it's totally my guilty pleasure. However, there is one element of the show that I cannot accept: bridal consultant Camille. Ignore her comments or her fashion suggestions, and just stare at her face. Her skin is so oily that Sophia Loren bottles her greasy goodness for pre-Award ceremony cover-up. This cannot be healthy. As her lips get larger, her pores grow deeper, so much so that they begin to radiate their own light.
This must be day-glow. This is not to be confused with a tan. A tan comes from the outside in, while the day-glow comes from the inside out.
But let us not think Camille is a revolutionary! Remember Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru (above) -- Canadian fashion critic with five-second slots on Entertainment Tonight? Even before his kidney transplants, he was the day-glow pioneer. Not quite orange and not quite albino, his skin is situated somewhere between vampire and oompa loompa. Cojo's screen time is met with constant cringes for fear beams of ultraviolet rays will permeate the television screen and obliterate my existence. No, I am not exaggerating. Added to the pack of day-glowers is The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan. Though his skin is darker than the other two day-glow nominees, it is no less shiny. Dogs can literally see their reflection on his forehead. Maybe this is the secret to his training technique.
It almost seems that day-glow evades sexuality. Yes, we know they are sometimes gay or transexually inclined (Cesar undoubtedly included, despite his marriage), but can we picture them in any sort of sexualized situation? Would sex be impossible due to the lack of friction caused by heavy sheen? Or sadly, is the day-glow the new mustache?
In my mere 21-years of life I have spent approximately $10,000 (facials, humidifiers, La Mer lotion, etc.) on trying to erase oiliness. I wasted countless days of my middle school career attempting to hide what the Jewish gods so graciously bestowed upon me. I have scrubbed, I have dehydrated, and I have soaked. And right when my skin suddenly becomes matte, oily becomes fashionable. Excuse me, I've got some Oreos to fry.
-- COURTNEY NICHOLS
For more from Courtney Nichols, visit https://www.fruitflylife.com.
Previously > Gaga gets inked
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
These Pics Prove Maluma Has Always Been a Certified Daddy
October 20 2023 1:13 PM
32 LGBTQ+ Celebs You Can Follow on OnlyFans
October 25 2023 3:15 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 Times Celebrity Men Had to Say They Weren't Gay
February 29 2024 1:19 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
13 Queens Who Quit or Retired From Drag After 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
November 24 2023 10:11 AM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Meet the reality TV baddies competing on 'House of Villains' season 2
March 27 2024 3:48 PM
Meet Kristen Kish, the new out host of 'Top Chef'
March 27 2024 3:36 PM
24 albums that turn 10 years old in 2024
March 27 2024 2:43 PM
Breaking boundaries in gender-free fashion with Stuzo Clothing
March 27 2024 2:15 PM
Meet Phillip Davis, Johnny Sibilly's new BF who he just hard-launched
March 27 2024 12:49 PM
Meet Ricky & Cesar, 'Amazing Race 36's loveable gay underdog couple
March 27 2024 12:09 PM
March 27, 2024
March 27 2024 12:07 PM
Yvonne & Melissa weren't 'U-Haul lesbians' before 'Amazing Race 36'
March 27 2024 11:38 AM
Iconic comedy 'John Tucker Must Die' is getting a sequel, making Millennial gays very happy
March 27 2024 10:50 AM
'Barbie' star Hari Nef is starring in a biopic about this trans legend
March 26 2024 7:02 PM