Project Runway: How To Wear A Beef T-Shirt

1.29.2010

By Noah Michelson

4. It’s great that you’re sassy and all, but GET TO WORK:
On second thought, Anthony’s mouth is what saved him this week. He’s good TV.

5. Wearing a t-shirt adorned with nothing but the word "BEEF" only looks cool if you’re knife-thin:
Which is why Seth Aaron made an impression with his. I spent like five seconds thinking, "I want that shirt." But then I realized that for me to achieve the same effect I’d have to get one with the word "Watercress" on it.

6. Fighting with your teammate is a waste of time:
It’s also 100% entertainment excellence. (see: all Real Housewives, Tea Partiers pissed off at Palin, that basketball player with the gun in the locker room)

7. Crying is for the weak:
And that’s really why I didn’t mind that Ping, who I love, had to leave. I can’t watch people weep. It makes me pleasurably hungry and I shouldn’t snack so late at night (see: watercress discussion above).

8. If a model tries to sabotage your moment, snap that model in half and move on:
You kind of had to watch <I>Models of the Runway</I> to see that one. A model decided she "had" to speak up in order to get Ping eliminated. Ping did nothing but cry, of course.

9. Men should stop wearing those faggoty little fedoras all sideways, the deep v-neck t-shirts and the non-warming, non-winter scarves. They should stop doing that right now:
Almost every guy on this show is guilty. Isn’t there a new ugly trend that gays could latch on to and destroy? Isn’t that why they’re trends, because they die quickly and everyone moves on? The only man who looks good in the deep v-neck t-shirt is Ernest Borgnine in The Poseidon Adventure and that’s just because he had to give his real shirt to Stella Stevens.

10. That ad they showed for When in Rome in the middle of the show? Resist it:
I saw it in the line of duty for another job. And I’d sooner wear a tilt-y little hat for a month than go through that bullshit again.

-- DAVE WHITE

Previously > Project Runway: Lap It Up

Tags: Popnography
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