4. Suzy Menkes, one of the biggest names in fashion journalism and practitioner of kooky personal style, is this week's guest judge. I appreciate a big lady who doesn't give much of a fuck and who knows that when you can't find a hat, you can always just shape your hair into one that sticks out from your forehead like a ram's horn. None of what I just wrote is meant to be insulting. I really truly think she's kind of rad and her look fascinates me more than anything from the top three designers' collections.
3. Tim Gunn's use of the word "scattershot" (which isn't all that odd a turn of phrase even though one of our assembled group hadn't heard it before for whatever reason) prompts a pause-button-employing discussion of our favorite vintage expressions. The winner: "Cattywhompus."
2. A tie: Tim Gunn's unexpected and matronly freak-out backstage at Bryant Park about how no one was paying attention to the time and how everyone needed to LINE UP THEIR FRIGGING MODELS RIGHT NOW, DAMN ALL OF YOU TO HELL! versus the part where Carol Hannah gets told that she's out. She kisses Heidi goodbye, effectively transmitting the flu which will end up sending Seal running to the bathroom for a week.
1. Irina having won in a thudding moment of unsurprise, a commercial all but chops off the remaining moments of the episode, promising us that Tim and Heidi and Kors and Nina (simultaneously, promise) will be returning for already-in-the-can Season 7 happening this January. And they're going back to New York, I hear, too, which is great because Los Angeles is too stupid. I live in Los Angeles, so you can just take my word for it.
Anyway, give me December to forgive and forget and I'll be back to watch you again PR. But this next time I won't be so long-suffering. I want tantrums, not tears. I want hard work and extreme visions, not heartfelt bullshit backstories about your Daddy issues and drug habits. I want crazy fighting, not manufactured, plumped-up tiffs. I want a motherfuckin' walk-off. And if I don't get it I'll just invite people over to watch Tabatha's Salon Takeover instead.
--DAVE WHITE
