Popnography
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
It's hard to hear a song about a banana and not think of you-know-what. But I'm betting to the strange, seemingly non-perverse, ukulele-playing Tiny Tim a banana was a banana just as a sausage was a sausage.
The late Manhattan-born singer's childlike naivety was manifested through his career-defining ditty, the gleeful remake of "Tiptoe through the Tulips." So thinking that Tiny -- an often laughed-at novelty act popular in the '60s who was basically a caricature of himself -- could really write a gutter-minded riff about a long, curved fruit with as much homo subtext as a Mika song is hard to swallow. But the title track of I've Never Seen a Straight Banana: Rare Moments, Vol. 1, out last week, is exactly what its title overtly suggests. And it's one peel away from being gayer than anything Mika's ever done:
"I've never seen a straight banana
I guess I must admit
That I have searched quite a bit
They're even curved when they are served in my banana split"
I'm thinking the banana is less a wee-wee than an extended metaphor for something that doesn't exist, but the gayness, at least years later when filtered through my filthy mind, is as subtle as Tiny's snaggletoothed smile. Curved when served in his banana split? Whipped cream, fudge -- oh yeah.
Alas, Tiny was married three times (despite a guy crush in his twenties). But if Brokeback Mountain taught us anything, it's that a "sacred bond" never stopped a closet case who knew the benefits of a little spit. Making people laugh was Tiny's modus operandi. But he also had a lot of heart. Listen to his more endearing, tender side from this dainty collection, like "Dear Tuesday" and "Baby Shoes," and try to hate him. Tiny also knew he shared something with a would-be straight banana: He was one of a kind. Now, most just call him weird, and Tiny would probably agree; he opens the disc up with a prelude called "What Strange God Designed Me?"
Apparently it was one who didn't want him to get his rocks off -- with a straight banana or not. He was mostly asexual, which might confuse the heck out of a lot of folks today when they listen to this rarities collection and hear him plead: "Oh how much I've been yearning to see that straight banana." Whatever he means, and wherever he is -- off tiptoeing through some tulips probably -- I hope he got his wish.
-- CHRIS AZZOPARDI
Previously > First Look: Adam Lambert's Debut Album
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
32 LGBTQ+ Celebs You Can Follow on OnlyFans
October 25 2023 3:15 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
21 LGBTQ+ reality dating shows & where to watch them
April 03 2024 4:01 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
14 queens who quit or retired from drag after 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
April 04 2024 12:56 PM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Kennedy Davenport finally explains the rumored 'All Stars 3' drama with Trixie Mattel
April 16 2024 4:16 PM
Watch the queens from 'Drag Race Live' hilariously reveal Out's RuPaul cover
April 16 2024 4:10 PM
Noah Beck claps back at people who assumed he's gay for hugging a male friend
April 16 2024 4:03 PM
Jonathan Bailey's next gig is being lined up & it involves dinosaurs & ScarJo
April 16 2024 2:12 PM
Queens were showing out & shining bright at The Center's fundraising dinner
April 16 2024 1:37 PM
Wanna hookup internationally? Grindr's new feature helps you do that
April 16 2024 12:58 PM
Ricky Martin reveals 'very discreet' man he's met in exclusive new 'Palm Royale' clip
April 16 2024 11:56 AM
This morning was PURE CHAOS in the Bravo universe
April 15 2024 7:35 PM
Wrestling stud Anthony Bowens stuns in sweaty & steamy gym selfie
April 15 2024 4:56 PM
Billie Eilish kissed a girl at Coachella & we're FREAKING OUT
April 15 2024 4:19 PM
Writing helped save one queer poet's life—now he wants to help others feel seen & heard
April 15 2024 4:08 PM