Project Runway: D-I-V-O-R-C-E

10.9.2009

By Noah Michelson

Speaking of Tim Gunn, he seems… what’s a good Tim Gunn word…
how about “vexed”… by pretty much everybody’s garment. He sneers when one of
them appears “lab coaty.” He nearly gets the throw-up face when he has to use
slang like “cougar” to describe one of the pieces. And he full-on almost vomits
over the word “acetate.” Then they cut back to Shirin while Tim comforts her
anxiety attack. Her dress, one peacock feather haphazardly glue-gunned to its
synthetic mockery of opposite-marriage, laughs at her. STOP MAKING SHIRIN CRY,
DRESS!

In the end, because she got the most air time, Gordana’s
hand-dyed asymetrical sheath wins the challenge. Logan gets reamed for making
pants with what seem to be built-in horizontal camel-toe pouches. But Epperson
is sent packing thanks to what started as a lab coat but wound up as Heidi’s
past come back to haunt her. She uses “Oktoberfest” to describe not only his
corset-y serving-frau costume, but Logan’s too. You think this woman wants to
be reminded of shit like Berlin Alexanderplatz and people soaking in lager and
eating tons of animal by-products squeezed into a pig intestine? Answer: Nein.

Oh and “next week on…” promises Nina. We’ll just see about
that.

--DAVE WHITE

Previously > DWTS Gets Homo-tastic

Tags: Popnography

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