Remember when we first met Matt Damon, all blond bowl cut, a mere sidekick to Affleck’s leading man? Oh how times have changed. After a few Bournes and demonstrating he’s got a healthy sense of humor about himself, Damon packed on the pounds (and a creepy ‘stache) to play Mark Whitacre, the real-life agri-business exec who turns state’s witness when the FBI catches wind of a price-fixing scheme. After reluctantly blowing the whistle, Whitacre then starts to take it a bit too seriously – the result of his bipolar disorder that ultimately threatens to dismantle the federal government’s case. Stephen Soderbergh directs, who tends to get inspired comedic performances out of Damon.
Very shortly, Jennifer Aniston will have squandered the general public’s good will entirely. Back in ’05, Aniston could do no wrong. Her Adonis of a husband had just dropped her for maneater Angelina Jolie, and despite their growing rainbow tribe and acts of good will, Aniston has clung to her role as America’s sweetheart -- until now. Now that Hugh Grant has all but retired, it’s tough to name another actor who phones it in as profoundly as Aniston, sleepwalking through scenes and insulting America with inane characters and plotlines. The latest: Aniston’s a florist who swears off men, until she meets self-help guru Aaron Eckhart and helps him recover his secret pain. Yikes.
Writing a movie about a demon-possessed cheerleader who kills classmates is certainly one way to follow up the adorable tale of a knocked up teen who puts her baby up for adoption -- and that’s exactly what professional writer/exhibitionist Diablo Cody decided to do. After a high school rock band uses Jennifer (Megan Fox) in a sacrificial ritual to get a record deal, things go horribly wrong, and Jennifer ends up with a blood-thirsty demon inside of her who feeds on the school’s young bucks. Despite how it sounds, the only bad thing about this movie is the ensuing press tour that will allow Megan Fox to spew her belligerent ignorance all over the listening public.
-- LAUREN HARRIS
Previously > The Newlywed Game Goes Gay