By Noah Michelson
It’s not that they were all terrible (the Texas Tenors were hot but their song choice, "God Bless the USA," was hokey and manipulative,) and there was a real cross-section of performers ranging from a gospel trio to three Paris Hilton drones, two with violins, but the Top 12 on American Idol have significantly more to offer than these 12 -- and they're a quarter their age. (One of the kids in the audience, maybe 11, performed a rap during one of the commercial breaks and was better than many of the acts on stage.)
Distracting me from that train of thought, I noted that David Hasselhoff is still gainfully employed as one of the judges. (Apparently everyone else on the planet knew this.) He was cool, had his act together and looked great. Sharon Osbourne looked great too. And Piers Morgan (never heard of him before) made the most sense. He called the acts out for what they were and hit his X buzzer, denoting Failure!, countless times -- and with good reason. One friend explained to me that America’s Got Talent is a contemporary version of The Gong Show. That helped it make a little more sense, but it still doesn’t explain why it’s the #1 show on television right now.
-- HARKER JONES
Previously > A Trans Beyonce Might Be Better Than The Real Thing