Can I Be Blunt? Carrie Fisher

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1. We lied when we told you we thought Pink Flamingos was funny.

2. When did limp wrists become a feminine characteristic?

3. Not all of us share your enthusiasm for big cocks.

4. We resent that you get to have children without having to breast feed.

5. We would like you to retain fluids for us on occasion.

6. We may wonder what it's like to have a prostate, but we don't want to hear how yours was milked.

7. We are curious about what poppers do for the orgasm.

8. We only want gay marriage legalized so we can complain about our husbands with you.

9.  We want someone gay on the Supreme Court so it would be more like "Diana Ross and the Supremes Court!"

10. We don't really care that John Travolta is gay.

Fisher's one-woman show Wishful Drinking opens October 4 at Studio 54 in New York City. Her memoir of the same name is available now through Simon & Schuster.