Inside the Mind (and Pants) of Eddie Sarfaty
By Noah Michelson
Are younger audiences more accepting, even if they’re straight?
Definitely! Everyone has a sexual aspect so why wouldn’t you share it so people
can relate to you? It bugs me when people deny who they are. But it’s got to be
about the comedy. You can be filthy, but you better be brilliant. If you get up
there and only talk about gay sex, that’s not comedy, that’s laziness. People
appreciate when it’s smart.
After reading about your sexcapades, I have to admit I was intimidated -- and a
little turned on.
That’s the perfect combination.
As long as I don’t end up in your act like the guy with the all the Disney tattoos.
Please! He had the teapot from Beauty and the Beast inked onto his calf! How am I
supposed to keep it up long enough to screw someone with Angela Lansbury
looking over my shoulder?
That’s hilarious! But not as funny as the guy in your book with the bizarre fetish.
You mean the hottie with the pocket full of party balloons? That was a trip! He
had me blow them up and kept yelling, “Bigger! Bigger!” while he was beating
off. After he had me rub them all over my body, he put them on the bed, got on
top and started humping. I loved that he was able to let loose and not have any
shame in front of a stranger.
What bothers you?
Lots of stuff -- I’m crazy. I’ve had depression since I was 15 years old. It sucks,
but at least it gave me a sense of humor.
What’s it like?
People think depression is low energy, calm, can’t get out of bed, like a crushing
sloth. Sometimes it’s like that but it’s also extremely fueled. If it were all lazy
and low-key, then people wouldn’t kill themselves. People kill themselves
because there’s this seething to it that eventually breaks loose and causes
Do you ever feel self-destructive?
All the time. Every day. Seriously.
That terrible. What causes you to feel so blue?
They say it’s a family disease. I had two first cousins who took their lives. My
father had low-grade depression. It can be sparked by circumstance: your career,
the end of a relationship, or, it can just be the way you’re wired.
What advice would you offer to someone who suffers from depression?
Get Over It! [Laughs] Thank God I can laugh at it. Sometimes I’m so dark, I
don’t know how I could get through anything without joking. Humor’s a way to
connect with people. If you called people up and talked about your depression all
the time, no one would pick up the phone. I try to stay connected even though my
tendency’s to isolate because I see how my depression hurts other people. I take
medication -- several. Exercise helps a lot. Regular sex can also make a big
difference - so, roll over!
[Flustered.] Uh, I’m sure frequent sex is no problem for you. I’ve been on cruises
where half the ship seemed to be trying to get into your pants.
I wish I would’ve met you on one of those cruises.
Next time I’ll throw my jockstrap on stage to get your attention.
Don’t throw it -- just wear one.
I’m sure I wouldn’t be the first to toss one at you.
You’re talking about the “Chuckle Fucker” principle. When you’re in front of an
audience, even though people know it’s a routine and it’s scripted, there has to be
some kind of authentic emotion. Whether the facts of the joke are manipulated,
your anger…or your lust…or your despair has to be real. Then people feel
connected to you and want to get close.
For more info on Eddie Sarfaty, head here.
Previously > Safe Sex Is Contagious