Inside the Mind (and Pants) of Eddie Sarfaty
By Noah Michelson
Are younger audiences more accepting, even if theyâ€™re straight?
Definitely! Everyone has a sexual aspect so why wouldnâ€™t you share it so people
can relate to you? It bugs me when people deny who they are. But itâ€™s got to be
about the comedy. You can be filthy, but you better be brilliant. If you get up
there and only talk about gay sex, thatâ€™s not comedy, thatâ€™s laziness. People
appreciate when itâ€™s smart.
After reading about your sexcapades, I have to admit I was intimidated -- and a
little turned on.
Thatâ€™s the perfect combination.
As long as I donâ€™t end up in your act like the guy with the all the Disney tattoos.
Please! He had the teapot from Beauty and the Beast inked onto his calf! How am I
supposed to keep it up long enough to screw someone with Angela Lansbury
looking over my shoulder?
Thatâ€™s hilarious! But not as funny as the guy in your book with the bizarre fetish.
You mean the hottie with the pocket full of party balloons? That was a trip! He
had me blow them up and kept yelling, â€śBigger! Bigger!â€ť while he was beating
off. After he had me rub them all over my body, he put them on the bed, got on
top and started humping. I loved that he was able to let loose and not have any
shame in front of a stranger.
What bothers you?
Lots of stuff -- Iâ€™m crazy. Iâ€™ve had depression since I was 15 years old. It sucks,
but at least it gave me a sense of humor.
Whatâ€™s it like?
People think depression is low energy, calm, canâ€™t get out of bed, like a crushing
sloth. Sometimes itâ€™s like that but itâ€™s also extremely fueled. If it were all lazy
and low-key, then people wouldnâ€™t kill themselves. People kill themselves
because thereâ€™s this seething to it that eventually breaks loose and causes
Do you ever feel self-destructive?
All the time. Every day. Seriously.
That terrible. What causes you to feel so blue?
They say itâ€™s a family disease. I had two first cousins who took their lives. My
father had low-grade depression. It can be sparked by circumstance: your career,
the end of a relationship, or, it can just be the way youâ€™re wired.
What advice would you offer to someone who suffers from depression?
Get Over It! [Laughs] Thank God I can laugh at it. Sometimes Iâ€™m so dark, I
donâ€™t know how I could get through anything without joking. Humorâ€™s a way to
connect with people. If you called people up and talked about your depression all
the time, no one would pick up the phone. I try to stay connected even though my
tendencyâ€™s to isolate because I see how my depression hurts other people. I take
medication -- several. Exercise helps a lot. Regular sex can also make a big
difference - so, roll over!
[Flustered.] Uh, Iâ€™m sure frequent sex is no problem for you. Iâ€™ve been on cruises
where half the ship seemed to be trying to get into your pants.
I wish I wouldâ€™ve met you on one of those cruises.
Next time Iâ€™ll throw my jockstrap on stage to get your attention.
Donâ€™t throw it -- just wear one.
Iâ€™m sure I wouldnâ€™t be the first to toss one at you.
Youâ€™re talking about the â€śChuckle Fuckerâ€ť principle. When youâ€™re in front of an
audience, even though people know itâ€™s a routine and itâ€™s scripted, there has to be
some kind of authentic emotion. Whether the facts of the joke are manipulated,
your angerâ€¦or your lustâ€¦or your despair has to be real. Then people feel
connected to you and want to get close.
For more info on Eddie Sarfaty, head here.
Previously > Safe Sex Is Contagious