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Hummer: Shakira's "She Wolf"

A few weeks ago I got bit by the new Shakira single "She Wolf" and I've been unable to control myself from playing it over and over and over again ever since. Who knew that the thing I was waiting for all summer was a song about a werewolf trapped in a closet? Sure, it's swimming in more processed cheese than the nacho stand at the Minnesota State Fair and the lyrics aren't exactly poetry (at one point she sings "I'm starting to feel a little abused like a coffee machine in an office"), but it's so manically catchy that I can't help myself from howling my own little "awooooooo!" during the chorus.

Now that the video for the song has been released I have to say I'm a little disappointed. Instead of doing something over the top like Michael Jackson's "Thriller" or Kanye West's "Paranoid," we get Shakira walking into a closet which suddenly transforms into what looks like a glittery birth canal. Then we find the pint-sized singer doing her best I'm-wearing-a-nude-body-suit a la Britney's "Toxic" video while popping her shoulders out of their sockets in a gold cage. There's a crazy spandex body suit that's missing a lot of material in some strategic locations, a "Singing In The Rain"-esque dance sequence on a rooftop, and then Shakira is home in time to creep back into bed before anyone is any the wiser. Basically -- nothing happens and it's not visually stimulating enough (like, say, Madonna's "Rain" video where nothing happens but it's so gorgeous you don't care) to make up for the lack of plot. And the song is about werewolves! Give us some fangs! Give us some hair! Give us some moon-crazed muggings in a dark alley!

But, still, I forgive Shakira for letting me down. Because while the video is totally underwhelming, the song has been delivering like few others have in the last two months and, besides, it's never wise to look a gift jam in the (possibly rabid lycanthropic) mouth.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > Happy Birthday Kate Bush!

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Noah Michelson