Air Sex Championship coming to stimulate a city near you
By Noah Michelson
Photo credit Tim League
I've never been a fan of air guitar -- either playing it or watching someone else do it. There's something a little too self-conscious (and at the same time oblivious) -- not to mention geeky -- about it for me to really be able to just let go and pretend that I'm playing an instrument that I don't play -- much less an instrument that's not even really there.
But air sex on the other hand, now there's an American pastime I could get into. And lucky for me, flocks of horny, attention starved hipsters are swarming venues across this fine land to simulate doing the dirty with an imaginary partner.
Here are the simple, easy-to-follow rules:
perform an air sex routine. This can include all phases of an air sex
encounter: meeting, seduction, foreplay and intercourse, or you can
simply cut to the chase.
Music: Competitors must perform to music, you can
either bring a CD of your performance track with you, or you can choose
from our selection of air sex music. You may also include an audio
prelude to your performance, maximum of 30 seconds.
Other Rules: Unlike air guitar, there are not
many other rules. Props are allowed, teams are allowed, talking is
allowed. The only important rule is that all sexual climaxes must be
simulated, not real.
If you want to give it a go, check out the Air Sex Championship site to find out when the mock humpfest will be inserting itself (but not really) into your city.
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