Why Adam Lambert Won't Call Us Back

We realize that not everything is as see-it-from-space obvious as the fact that Adam Lambert is gay.

Like, for example, emerging evidence that his post-finale "are you or aren't you" dodges are all in service of a greater exclusive good -- a Rolling Stone cover story in which he will presumably say those two little words that so many seem to think are required before he's fully welcomed into the fold of faggotry.

"Adam will address the sexuality speculation soon," Ryan Seacrest Twittered this morning. (Out's been chasing Adam's interview tail for months, for the record, and won't stop any time soon. There are some questions that not even rock'n'roll mags would make time to ask that are very much on our minds.)

Meanwhile, even if Jann Wenner's been promised the exclusive "I'm gay" soundbite, everything else seems to be fair game. Adam told Us Magazine.com he's a top, joked with People.com staffers that his closet was "pretty much wide open," and admitted to TVGuide.com there's an elephant in the room and "it's pink, isn't it?" During this long and awesome interview with Entertainment Weekly's Idolatry main 'mo, he never once seemed to watch his words, whether it was to thank a drag queen at Bob Mackie's showroom for hooking him up with those KISS wings or to complain that Bill O'Reilly censored the pics of him and his ex making out.

Over at begaylittlebird, we've gone George Carlin-style to sum up what few phrases still seem off-limits in this press blitz. And we promise you, once this awkward adolescent period of interview promise-keeping is over, we intend to get Adam to use every single one.

-- SHANA NAOMI KROCHMAL

Previously > Adam Lambert is a top