The End is Near For Redheads
By Nick Burns
According to the latest issue of National Geographic, naturally redheaded men and women are becoming an increasingly rare breed and could be extinct by 2060! As a freckled ginger kid, this is frightening news! Imagine the world without the the redheaded locks of the Ron Weasleys, the Nicole Kidmans, the Seth Greens, the Prince Harrys (pictured) and the Lindsay Lohans. Okay, maybe that last one isn't the best example.
What's to blame? "Global intermingling, which broadens the availability of possible
partners, has reduced the chances of redheads meeting and producing
little redheads of their own," says a story in today's Australian Daily Telegraph.
The only solution is for redheads to hook up with one another until the world's redheaded population is replenished. According to the story, while it's possible for one redhead to produce another redheaded child, the power of two redheads doubles your chances.
This is a call to action!
Of course, if you aren't a redhead but want to be a fire crotch, you could always plan a date with Betty, the dye for your hair down there. Everybody knows that redheads have more fun.